PROGRAMS - MONSTER CHILLER HORROR THEATRE

with Count Floyd

Monster Chiller Horror Theatre

The late night horror film show that never quite manages to book really scary films. Hosted by Count Floyd, aka Floyd Robertson, co-anchor of the SCTV News. He often gets 3D films, invariably starring those masters of the genre, Doctor Tongue and his sidekick Bruno (played by veteran character actor Woody Tobias Jr.).

Woody and Tongue also taught screen acting on Sunrise Semester; other important Dr Tongue and Woody Tobias Jr episodes include:

• Helping the Elephant Man during Pledge Week
• Repairing the SCTV satellite to block CCCP1
• Escaping Towering Inferno
• Woody Tobias directs 2009

1 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman [1 - 18 (7)]

Floyd introduces tonite's thriller, Madame Blitzman.

Movie: Madame Blitzman

Madame Blitzman meets her future husband at one of his lectures. He's a bit eccentric, and his erratic behavior deteriorates. She struggles for many years to discover what ails her husband. Finally, she succeeds and is honored by the academy.

Madame Blitzman - Martin; Members of the Academy - Thomas, Ramis, Flaherty; Professor Blitzman - Levy; Milos - Ramis

Count Floyd - Flaherty

2 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax [1 - 20 (8)]

Floyd's got a seriously scary feature this week, in 3D.

Clip: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax

People have gone missing, and a girl finds out why while visiting the local wax museum.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Shop Owner - Thomas; Woman - Martin; Wax figures - O'Hara, Ramis

Count Floyd - Flaherty

3 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The House of Cats [2 - 2 (1)]

Floyd shows some clips from the three-dimensional semi-classic. The 3D technique is not quite perfected. Floyd is selling the 3D glasses for 27 bucks.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Cats

Dr Tongue transforms women into cats.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Alicia - O'Hara

Count Floyd - Flaherty

4 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf [2 - 12 (6)]

Floyd presents Whispers of the Wolf.

Igmar Bergman's Whispers of the Wolf

Two sisters are depressed and have difficulty dealing with reality.

Desk Clerk - Levy; Sisters - O'Hara, Martin; Midget - extra

Floyd's a bit stunned, but gamely tries to convince us it was scary. He suspects Prickley booked Bergman.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

Teaser: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel [3 - 5 (2, 5)]

Floyd plugs Death Motel.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

5 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel

Floyd introduces the film and plugs his 3D glasses (15.95, certified cheques only).

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

Movie: Death Motel

Young newlyweds arrive at the motel, where Bruno is the bell boy. As they get ready for bed they are being watched... Notes: the classic 3D sound effect!

Bruno arrives to turn down the bed and terrorizes the wife in the process. The husband goes for the manager, leaving Bruno with her.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Martin; Motel Manager - Rosato

Count Floyd's guest is Woody Tobias Jr. They discuss Woody's father, his early career.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

6 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The Odd Couple [3 - 9 (5)]

Floyd plugs The Odd Couple, where there's a neat guy and a messy guy...who sucks blood!

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage Hands - extras

7 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Georgy Girl [3 - 17 (2)]

Count Floyd plugs Georgy Girl, and a set falls over.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

8 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dick Cavett [3 - 24 (5)]

Floyd hasn't seen the schedule, but assures us it's scary.

Dick Cavett: Bobby Bittman

Dick interviews Bobby Bittman, who plugs his book, The Complete Filmaker, and has outtakes from the movie he just directed, Funny Stuff.

Outtakes: Funny Stuff

Bobby directs a young actress.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Patti Donner - Martin; crew - extras

Bittman, unimpressed with Cavett's attitude, walks off.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy

Count Floyd tries to convince us Dick Cavett is scary.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

9 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses [4/1 - 6 (15)]

Floyd shows some clips from the House of Stewardesses, and then breaks all tradition by rolling some more clips. (Floyd is flogging the glasses for 18 bucks plus 3 bucks for handling).

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses

Dr Tongue orders Bruno to get him a human body and gives his 'mad' speech('They laughed at me in Prague'). The doorbell rings. Some stewardesses. Their car has broken down.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras

Floyd breaks all tradition by rolling some more clips.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses

Dr Tongue's plans have worked...almost too well.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras

Floyd's glasses are fogged up.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

10 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Slinky...Toy from Hell [4/2 - 4 (5)]

Floyd's plugging this Saturday's film, Slinky...Toy From Hell, and picking football teams.

Clip: Slinky...Toy From Hell

Girl - Martin; Slinky - itself; announcer - staff announcer

Count Floyd - Flaherty

11 SCTV Special Presentation: 3-D House of Beef [4/2 - 6 (5)]

The only place in town with 3D entertainment and an excellent cut of beef. Dr Tongue welcomes us. We enter and sign the guest book. Dr Tongue takes us to a table and shows us the menu. He calls the waiter Bruno to take our order. Bruno explains he's not just a lackey. Dr Tongue introduces Count Floyd, who will host the evening. Floyd tries to move some 3D glasses for 26 bucks. He introduces The Polyesters (opening act).

In the kitchen, Floyd, Tongue and Bruno argue. The Polyesters are bombing, so they get James Ingram out of his air-conditioned dressing room.

Floyd kicks the Polyesters off stage. James Ingram performs 'Just Once'. James refuses to play another and goes after Tongue for his money. A Johnny LaRue Production.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Count Floyd - Flaherty; diners - extras; announcer - staff announcer; Polyesters - Juul Haalmeyer, Moranis, O'Hara, extras; James Ingram - James Ingram; Gerbil - extra

12 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes [4/2 - 8 (1)]

Count Floyd shows a clip of Dr Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes. He's not particularly scared, so he shows another clip.

Clip: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes

Dr Tongue - Candy

Count Floyd - Flaherty

13 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Blood-Sucking Monkeys [4/2 - 9 (11)]

Floyd's ready to show "Blood-Sucking Monkeys from West Mifflin Pennsylvania", but is informed they don't have the film. So Floyd tells the story.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage Hand - extra

14 The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart [4/3 - 4 (8)]

Clip: 3D Stake From the Heart

Dr Tongue has plans for his nymphette.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara

Count Floyd takes a look a Francis Ford Coppola's remake of One From the Heart, and raising money to finance it. He interviews Coppola and sits in on an investor's meeting. We see Mona Melman's imaginative and inexpensive costume designs.

Floyd interviews Tongue and Woody. Coppola hustles his film on the street.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Francis Ford Coppola - Moranis; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara; Investors - extras; Mona Melman - Martin; crew - extras

15 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: 3D House of Slavechicks [5/4 - 4 (12)]

Count Floyd introduces the miracle of Smell-O-Rama - smell the perfume and the flavored lip gloss - and shows clips from the feature.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Slavechicks

Dr Tongue has sent invitations and a single flower to every good looking chick in the village. The barbecue goes quite well, with only a minor glitch courtesy of Bruno.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy;

Floyd flogs his 3D Smell-O-Rama cans (19.95).

Count Floyd - Flaherty

16 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Four For Texas [5/4 - 5 (7)]

Once again, Floyd's film hasn't come in, so he's stuck boosting "Four For Texas" by the Rat Pack.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Crew - extra

17 Promo: Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas [5/4 - 6 (5)]

Floyd's going to tell scary stories, and will be joined by his guests Lucille Ball ("Christmas"), the Kid from Deliverance (banjo solo), and making their singing debut (Awoooo!), NFL Player's Association representatives Ed Garvey and Gene Upshaw ("Bring Back that Loving Feeling"). They have a roundtable discussion about about football player salaries.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Lucille Ball - O'Hara; The Kid from Deliverance - Short; Ed Garvey - Levy; Gene Upshaw - Gene Mack; kids - extras

18 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Tip O'Neil's 3D House of Representatives [5/5 - 1 (4)]

Floyd's got another winner.

Clips: Tip O'Neil's 3D House of Representatives

Tip urges us to sign a bill.

Tip O'Neil - Candy

Floyd tries to convince us that was scary ("You don't think that's scary? That bill could become law!").

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage hand - extra

19 3D Firing Line [5/5 - 6 (5)]

Floyd introduces some clips from today's topic, Midnight Cowboy II.

Clips: Midnight Cowboy II

Enrico and Joe meet in a bar. Joe agrees to lets Enrico become his manager. They walk the streets of Toronto, trying to hustle. Back at the apartment they argue some more because Joe hasn't scored.

Woody Tobias Jr as Enrico Ritzo - Levy; Dr Tongue as Joe Buck - Candy

Count Floyd's guests have a roundtable discussion about the picture. Pauline trashes it, Tongue and Woody argue about it. Floyd then turns the discussion over to the guest moderator, The Pittsburgh Midget. Note: accommodations provided by The Driftwood Inn.

Host: Count Floyd - Flaherty; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias - Levy; Pauline Kael - Wilcox; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

20 Scary Previews [6 - 4 (8)]

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr have a new show where they review scary films. First up is a remake of Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde starring Scott Baio.

Clip: Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde

Scott transforms from Jeckyl into Hyde sans make-up.

Scott Baio - Short

They both vote no on that one. Second is a sequel to Cujo, Cujo II.

Clip: Cujo II

A man is pursued by a raving housewife.

Man - Thomas; Woman - Wilcox; Dog - extra

They both recommend Cujo II. Bruno's pick for Stiff of the Week is The Night of Living Dangerously. Floyd's pick is Woody's own Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue, in 3D.

Clip: The Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue

Bruno searches for Dr Tongue.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy

Floyd asks why Woody did the film. Woody says he was trying to be existential.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

21 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Modern Problems [6 - 8 (3)]

The Count's co host, the Pittsburgh Midget, has brought Modern Problems (Mars Needs Women was held up at customs). 3D glasses are only 5.95.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

22 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday 13^th [6 - 14 (5)]

The Pittsburgh midget has rented a VHS tape for the show. They start the tape. It's a first person perspective of a guy terrorizing a local tv station. At first, Floyd's excited about finally showing a scary film. However, he starts to get fed up with the POV thing and starts fast forwarding through the film.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

Floyd Robertson appeared once on SCTV News still in his Count Floyd makeup.

23 SCTV News: Earl Retires [6 - 17 (6)]

Earl announces his retirement - he's going to lend his name to a line of clothing. Floyd is late getting back from a taping of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, causing a bit of a rucus - he's loaded. Floyd explains his tardiness - Jim the sound man is leaving MCHT. Earl loses it and chews Floyd out. Floyd gives a stirring farewell speech - to Jim the sound man, and heads off to the party at the Driftwood.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson / Count Floyd - Flaherty

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr made their swan song appearance in a Pledge Week slot to do their bit for SCTV (in vain, as it turned out).

24 Pledge Week Part 4 [6 - 18 (2c)]

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr lend their support to pledge week.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Ed Grimley - Short

25 Count Floyd EP [Count Floyd]

Count Floyd also released an album, featuring The Gory Story of Duane and Debbie, Treat You Like a Lady, Reggae Christmas Eve in Transylvania, and Count Floyd Is Back.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; MC - extra

Released in 1982. Produced by Paul Flaherty. Music by Paul Flaherty. Lyrics by Joe Flaherty, Paul Flaherty, Dick Blasucci and Mike Short.

Synth Programmer - Gene Martynec; Bass - Dick Blasucci; Guitar - Paul Flaherty; Keyboards - Mike Short; Drums - Rick Gratton; Timbales - Memo Acevedo; Backing Vocals - Sharon Lee Williams, Colina Phillips, Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Joe Flaherty, Mike Short. Back-Up Group - The Wally Hung Experience (pictured above on the back cover, courtesy Catherine O'Hara)

Making Real Funny Home Videos [VHS]

Set against the backdrop of preparing for his daughter's birthday party, Count Floyd shows us how to shoot home video. We get to see his backyard spread and meet his son. Techniques include:

• the element of surprise
• a jump cut and editing in the camera
• using babies
• camera basics, including pan, dolly, reveal and hand-held shots
• using cheap dummies
• pets and juxtaposition
• sports
• stunt fighting

Floyd then uses some of his techniques to prepare and shoot his daughter's party.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Mrs Floyd - Carolyn Scott; Junior - Chris Bickford; Sissy Floyd - Joanna Angus; Neighbour - Dana Anderson; kids, pets - extras