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Series 4 Cycle 1
Director: John Blanchard, John Bell (2nd unit)
Head Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Dave Thomas
Writers: Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Mike Short, Bob Dolman, John McAndrew, Mert Rich, Doug Steckler, Jeffrey Barron, Chris Cluess, Stuart Kreisman, Brian McConnachi
Producers: Andrew Alexander, Patrick Whitley, Nicolas Wry
"There once were seven people who started their own network. But every network has its day, and theirs was over. Or so they thought. They were sick of doing comedy, but not that sick. They were summoned - from their part-time jobs; from their vocations; yes, even from their lifestyles. They were summoned by a force that none of them were able to resist. They were sent to New York City, the entertainment capital of the world, and showered with adulation and attention. They were given the red carpet treatment and ushered into the highest executive offices. They were given contracts to put SCTV back in business. But, abruptly, they were told to get the hell out of New York. The Big Apple just doesn't cut to hicks. Here's your bus boys. Yes, it was bye bye Big Apple, hello SCTV. Yes, SCTV is on the air!"
Narrator - Thomas
 Summoned from obscurity to New York by the irresistible force of a network television deal, the cast of SCTV reconvened in spring 1981 with a massive new 90 minute weekly show 'SCTV Network / 90' on NBC, though, like Series 3, shot in Edmonton. Picked up as a mid-season replacement for 'Midnight Special,' SCTV aired Friday nights at 12:30am starting in May 1981 (while the CBC and US stations were still repeating Series 3).
Series 4 features perhaps the definitive cast: the Series 2 cast plus Moranis (both Tony Rosato and Robin Duke were poached by Saturday Night Live). It also features some of their finest shows. The first production cycle starts slowly, featuring mostly old material from previous seasons, sometimes subtly edited or with new voiceovers, but finishes with an amazing set of five wraparound shows: Johnny LaRue goes over budget, Guy loses sponsors and runs a pledge drive, Lola cracks up, and Bob and Doug find a good topic.
The first four shows of Cycle 1 feature a new opening, narrated by Dave Thomas, wherein the cast arrives in, and then is thrown out of New York City. With episode five, the show gets a a visual makeover, along with a new more generic opening. Bumper graphics and the logo (along with many sets, such as Guy's office) for the entire cycle are holdovers from Series 3.
1982 Emmy nominations/award:
- outstanding variety, music or comedy program
- outstanding supporting actress in a comedy or variety or music series (Andrea Martin)
- outstanding writing in a variety or music program (4 of 5 nominations in the category; Moral Majority - winner; I'm Taking my Own Head; Great White North Palace; Christmas
- outstanding individual achievement - creative special achievement (CCCP1)
Best of the Best: Moral Majority, Pledge Week, Bouncin' Back to You
Almost entirely repeats, with some new linking bits introducing the new format. The English for Beginners sketch is a re-recorded version of the Series 1 sketch (same dialog, but new set).
Syndication Note: The small linking segments were cut. One On the Town was edited.
DVD Note: The end credits music has been changed to the Ira Newborn Cycle 2 theme; the original had a recording of "Thanks for the Memories."
OPENING
1 Message from Guy: Catch Our Stars
Guy enters to fanfare, welcomes the new stations, explains the new expanded show ('Network / 90'), and introduces this evening's show of 'golden classics.' 'Sit back, shut up, and enjoy the show.'
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
2 High Q (R2)
First topic: authors, and Margaret jumps on the question before it is asked, several times. Bridgeman buzzes but backs out. Mifsud almost gets it right and contests it. Next topic: music. Margaret jumps on the question again. Bridgeman buzzes and backs out again. Townsend answers correctly, but it's Richmond's turn. Cathy then gets it wrong. The audience gets disruptive. Trebel loses his cool.
Alex Trebel - Levy; Parkdale: Margaret Meehan - O'Hara; Peter Townsend - Candy; James Bridgeman - Flaherty; Richmond: Leonard Mandel - Thomas; Cathy Mifsud - Martin; Bruce Moffat - extra; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Merv Griffin Show "Watch the stars come up with Merv on the SCTV television network" announcer - staff announcer
3 Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno (R3)
Coat linings, terrorism, Merv does a number with Liberace, Loni's breasts, Hulk's make-up. (Note: some scenes edited)
Merv Griffin - Moranis; Yasser Arafat - Flaherty; Liberace - Thomas; Loni Anderson - extra; Lou Ferigno - Rosato; Lou's makeup assistant - Duke
4 English for Beginners 076
Perini frustrates her English teacher.
Perini Scleroso - Andrea Martin; Lucille Hitzger - Catherine O'Hara
5 Commercial: Dr Benson Credit Psychiatrist (R1)
Dr Benson - Thomas; Paranoid - Martin; Nymphomaniac - O'Hara; Manic Depressive - Levy; Anxiety Syndrome - Ramis; Neurotic - Candy; Kleptomaniac - Flaherty
BUMPER Promo: Leave It to Beaver 25th Anniversary announcer - staff announcer
6 Message from Prickley: The New Season
While having stuff moved into new quarters, Edith describes some of the things we can look forward to.
Edith Prickley - Martin; LaRue Movers - Flaherty (Butch), Chris Cluess, Dick Blasucci, extras; announcer - staff announcer
7 Leave It to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party (R1)
Beaver takes extreme measures to get back at Eddy.
Hugh Bowmont - Flaherty; Barbara Bilingslee - O'Hara; Tony Dowe - Levy; Gerry Matherrs - Candy; Eddy Haskell - Thomas; Whitey - Ramis; announcer - Thomas
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: One On the Town "SCTV rocks with Levon Helm on One on the Town." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "The comedy continues on SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
8 Kanadian Korner 23: The Best Groups and Doug's Imitations (R3)
Disco sucks. Doug imitates two dogs fighting, a boat, seagulls
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
9 Promo: Dan Money (R1)
Dan has a big wallet and he knows how to use it.
Dan Money - Flaherty; Funky Guy - Candy; Man with broken watch - Thomas; Judge - Levy; Jury - Ramis, extras; announcer - Candy
10 One On the Town: Levon Helm Part 1 085
Earl takes a behind the scenes look at Levon Helm. Levon's running behind, has to do a soundcheck, and can't talk to Earl. Levon performs Sweet Peach Georgia Wine inside, while outside, Earl thinks about questions he can ask.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Announcer - Moranis; Levon Helm with the Cate Brothers Band: Levon Helm - drums, vocals, harmonica, Earl Cate - guitar, Ernie Cate - keyboards, Ron Eoff - bass, Terry Cagle - drums; crew - crew
BUMPER Promo: The $Millionaire announcer - staff announcer
11 Message from Hal Waxberg: Behind the Scenes
Hal, crew chief, explains how SCTV has had to get a lot of new equipment, and introduces Nikki, SCTV's only female grip. They go to the green room to watch some more programming.
Hal Waxberg (Al Waxman) - Moranis; Nikki - O'Hara; crew - extras
12 The $Millionaire (R2)
The Millionaire is flat broke and reduced to giving away 50 bucks. His male secretary takes the heat from the Adamly family who aren't impressed by 50 bucks. But a wealthy Arab arrives to save the day.
Michael Anthony, Male Secretary - Candy; John Beresford Tipton, Millionaire - Flaherty; Adamly family - Thomas, O'Hara; Arab - Levy
13 Commercial: 20 Depressing Hits by Connie Franklin (R1)
'I'm Losing My Hearing', 'Stop Slapping My Face', 'You Depress Me'. Order now and get 'The Lighter Side of Connie Franklin'. (Note: slightly edited)
Connie Franklin - Martin; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: All the Long Leggedy Beasties "Coming up, those long-leggedy beasties" announcer - staff announcer
14 Message from Guy: Consultant
Guy introduces SCTV's consultant, and catches LaRue getting advice. Guy asks if there will be any hit shows this season. Instead, Mulciber foresees the destruction of television.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Mulciber Arimaspians - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy
15 Commercial: Half Legs (R3)
For the woman in you.
Joyce Dewitt - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
16 Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties (R1)
This week, the drama of a veterinarian with a proclivity for putting animals to sleep.
Alistair Cook - Flaherty; Veterinarian - Thomas; Farmer - Candy; Old woman - O'Hara; Friend - Flaherty
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network, get it?" announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: One On the Town "Stay tuned for more music from Levon Helm." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "The comedy continues on SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
17 Commercial: Spray-On Socks (R1)
No more droop around the ankles.
Chick - Martin; Man with drooping socks - Levy; Man with the solution - Candy; Miscellaneous dancers - Thomas, Flaherty, O'Hara, Ramis; Voiceover - Thomas
10a One On the Town: Levon Helm Part 2 085
Levon performs 'Summertime Blues'. With the crew complaining, Earl goes for some food. As Earl drives off, Levon's ready for the crew.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Levon Helm with the Cate Brothers Band: Levon Helm - drums, vocals, harmonica, Earl Cate - guitar, Ernie Cate - keyboards, Ron Eoff - bass, Terry Cagle - drums; audience - extras; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Play it Again, Bob announcer - staff announcer
18 Play It Again, Bob Part 1 (R3)
Woody sees a Hope film and is inspired to give him a call. Hope happens to be in town doing a show with the Village People so they get together. Hope suggests some rewrites of Woody's script.
Woody Allen - Moranis; Bob Hope - Thomas; woman in film - Martin; makeup - Beverly Schectman; crew, moviegoers - extras
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer
18a Play It Again, Bob Part 2 (R3)
Woody realizes Hope has him writing a road picture and feels he's losing control. Bing Crosby appears to give Woody some encouragement and tips on handling Hope. Woody calls Hope to do 9 or 10 holes before breakfast, on him. But the golf game doesn't go so good. In the end, Woody goes with the flow.
"Stick with me and the only thing that will make you sick is standing on solid ground".
Woody Allen - Moranis; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty
BUMPER announcer - staff announcer
Credits - 'Thanks for the Memories' by Benny Goodman and his Orchestra with Ella Fitzgerald (edited and sped up slightly - thanks J Gray)
The main sketch is John and Joe's Polynesiantown - the final crane shot in Polynesiantown would have severe repercussions for Johnny LaRue in the future. They used the fact that critics (Marvin Kitman in particular) panned this episode as fodder for a future show (show 5). And of course, Johnny finally would get his crane shot (and later lose it...). Also features an instalment of The Sammy Maudlin Show and the first Gerry Todd Show.
Additional Viewing: Polynesiantown is a parody of Chinatown. Crazy Hy's is a spoof of commercials by Crazy Joe's Drapery Warehouse in Toronto (thanks James Allen Gray). The Brenda Vaccaro commercial is a devastating spoof a very similar commercial that was running at the time. Indira is a shot-for-shot parody of a then-current commercial for the musical Evita. Larry Siegel is an impression of producer Joel Silver. The SCTV British Film Festival parodies kitchen sink/angry young man genre films of the late 50s, including Look Back In Anger and The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, along with Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange. Kwallada parodies Donnie and Marie commercials for Hawaiian Punch fruit drink.
Syndication Note: Polynesian Town was edited. The SCTV British Film Festival was cut.
DVD Note: Part 1 of Polynesiantown has been moved forward, swapped with Brenda Vaccaro commercial and Sammy Maudlin. The end credits music ('Do Do Do Da Da Da' by The Police) has been changed to the Ira Newborn Cycle 2 theme.
OPENING
1 Commercial: 5 Neat Guys Neatest Hits 085
Including 'Who Made the Egg Salad Sandwiches', 'Let's Have a Party in My Rec Room', 'Patsy Has the Largest Breasts in Town', 'She Does It', 'I'm the Goof in the Classroom', 'Don't Step on my Clip on Tie'.
5 - Candy; N - Flaherty; E - Levy; A - Thomas; T - Moranis; Announcer: Harvey K-Tel - Thomas
2 The Tim Ishimuni Show 076
Live via satellite from Tokyo, Tim Ishimuni chats with his guest, Grogan, about radiation, his new book, what irritates him, whether he still has an irrational need to crush small things.
Tim Ishimuni - Thomas; Grogan - Candy; Police - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Kwallada 104
To get bugs out of your skin and keep on living in sin. 7 pesticides and 10% fruit juice.
Donny Osmond - Thomas; Marie Osmond - O'Hara; Bug - Candy; bar patrons - extras
BUMPER Promo: SCTV Movie of the Week "Stay tuned for the SCTV Movie of the Week with Johnny LaRue" announcer - staff announcer
4 Message from Prickley: Polynesiantown 078
Prickley is on the set of LaRue's latest movie to promote Polynesiantown.
Edith Prickley - Martin; Johnny LaRue - Candy; LaRue entourage - Blasucci, extras; actress (off-screen) - Martin
5 SCTV Movie Of the Week: Polynesiantown Part 1 078
It's opening night of Johnny's new Polynesian restaurant, featuring ribs with a special molokai sauce. But Johnny blows it with the press, while Big Momma, the opening act, bombs. To top it off, headliner Dr John won't wear a grass skirt. Turns out he's doing the gig as a favor to Vic, who saved his life back in the 60's. Dr John gets Johnny to take care of his gems while he does his act ("Iko Iko") while a mysterious woman looks on. As Dr John finishes his number, Vic tells Johnny the ribs are bad. They go to warn Dr John, but too late, as he's polished off a huge plate.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Chuck - Dick Blasucci; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Restaurant Critics - Levy, Moranis, Thomas; Big Momma - Martin; Dr John - himself; Mysterious Woman (Faye Dunaway) - O'Hara; patrons and staff - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Coming directly to your living room via Satellite, this is the SCTV television Network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television Network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "The comedy continues on SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
6 Promo: The Larry Siegel Talk Show 097
The producer's got his own show where no one else gets a word in edge-wise.
Larry Siegel - Moranis; Elaine (off screen) - O'Hara; Dennis and David - Chris Cluess, Stuart Kriesman; Mark Greenstone - Dick Blasucci; Ma Siegel - Martin; Barry Sophransky - extra; announcer - O'Hara
7 Commercial: Indira, live at the Ackron Arena
The musical about a prime minister who wanted to be a singer, and ended up seducing a nation.
Indira Gandhi - Martin; Slim Whitman - Flaherty (voice: Paul Flaherty); extras - extras; announcer - Thomas
8 Great White North: Traveling and salaries 081
Bob has a traveling anecdote. Doug's heard they have different salaries. (Note: While referred to as a Kanadian Korner in Dave Thomas' book, it is clearly from the same set of shows from Cycle 2.)
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: The Sammy Maudlin Show "The stars come out on the Sammy Maudlin Show, right here on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
9 Commercial: Brenda Vaccaro for Bren's Genfem Protecteze Pons 097
Protection is important to Brenda; but they have some sound problems.
Brenda Vaccaro - Martin; Director - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer
10 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Drugs and Hollywood 140
Joined already in progress, Lola performs New York, New York, and they discuss her problems with the press and her law suit. Bobby Bittman drops by with out-takes from a congressional hearing on drugs in Hollywood.
Out-takes: Congressional Hearing on Drugs in Hollywood
Congressmen - Thomas, Moranis, extras; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lawyer - extra; audience - extras
William B brings up Sammy's drug problem, and he's documented Sammy's drug years in a book.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television Network; channel 3 in Pittsburgh, cable 102 in Blawnox." announcer - staff announcer
11 Promo: The Rosemans 090
America's favorite couple get up in the morning.
Mr Roseman - Levy; Mrs Roseman - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
12 Promo: Yuri - Getting to Know You 085
Yuri the weightlifter does some routines and bits with his special guests.
Yuri Rozmanovich - Candy; trainer - Dick Blasucci; Dolly Parton - extra; Fred Astaire - extra; Rodney Dangerfield - Thomas; weightlifters - extras; Man getting healed - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
13 Promo: Will: The Movie 085
Nixon and his cabinet brainstorm and get some take out.
G Gordon Liddy - Thomas; Richard Nixon - Flaherty; Henry Kissinger - Levy; Al Haig - Moranis; food delivery guy - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Polynesian Town "Stay tuned for more music from Dr. John on Part 2 of Polynesiantown." announcer - staff announcer
5a SCTV Movie Of the Week: Polynesiantown Part 2 078
Dr John performs 'Such a Night'. As he finishes, he and the restaurant patrons are getting sick, bad sick. Vic takes the opportunity to run off with Dr John's gems. Dr John and LaRue run after him into the path of an oncoming rib truck. Rather then leave, Vic saves them but gets hit himself. The mysterious woman turns out to be a Dr John groupie. The ironic final scene ends with the famous crane shot.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Chuck - Dick Blasucci; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Dr John - himself; Mysterious Woman (Faye Dunaway) - O'Hara; patrons and staff - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: SCTV British Film Festival "It's not cheap American entertainment, it's the British Film Festival." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
14 Promo: SCTV British Film Festival: Look Back in a Bloody Rage
Ben plugs this week's trio of three British films, all dealing with angry young men.
Look Back In a Bloody Rage
The story of an angry young man trying to escape the numbing influence of his working class environment. Billy comes home. He storms out.
Billy Pagett - Thomas; Billy's Mum - Martin; Billy's Dad - Moranis
The Loneliness of a Long-Distance Mum
The story of an angry young man trying to escape the numbing influence of his working class environment. Billy's in the pub with his pregnant scrag and friends. He storms out.
Billy Bailey - Thomas; Billy's Mum - Martin; Maggie - O'Hara; Billy's friends - Flaherty, Candy; pub customers - extras
Clockwork Leathernecks
Billy is forced to watch footage of pregnant women making fish and chips.
Billy - Thomas; Doctor - O'Hara; Doctors - Levy, extras
Ben raves a bit about American cinema.
Host: Ben Bumme - Flaherty; announcer - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: The Gerry Todd Show "Next on SCTV, it's all-night video DJ Gerry Todd." announcer - staff announcer
15 The Gerry Todd Show Part 1 081
Featuring video ('I'm Turning Japanese') from Tom Monroe.
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Tom Monroe - Moranis; Tom Monroe geisha girls - extras
16 Commercial: Crazy Hy's: TVs 081
TVs, every make, every size.
Crazy Hy - Levy; Silent Hy - Moranis
17 Commercial: Incredible Cash Contest 081
Announcer - staff announcer; chick - extra
Gerry Todd Bumper 081
Woman on the street - extra; Bumper heads - Flaherty, Martin, Levy, Candy, Thomas, Moranis
15a The Gerry Todd Show Part 2 081
Gerry goes to the request line, and plays a video from 5 Easy Pieces ('My Head Is Spinning').
Gerry Todd Weather Bumper 081
Gerry does the weather and checks out the satellite picture.
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Five Easy Pieces - Thomas; Request (Mickey) - O'Hara; Astronaut - Moranis; Man on the street - extra; Bumper heads - Flaherty, Martin, Levy, Candy, Thomas, Moranis
18 Commercial: Crazy Hy's: Satellite Dishes 081
Satellite dishes. Weather proof.
Crazy Hy - Levy; Silent Hy - Moranis
Gerry Todd Bumper 081
15b The Gerry Todd Show Part 3 081
Gerry makes an incredible cash call to a guy who's not feeling very well, and plays another track from Tom Munroe's 'On A New Wavelength' videodisc ('Do Do Do Da Da Da' - and roll credits).
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Tom Monroe - Moranis; William Morris (Sweating Weasel) - Thomas; Tom Monroe Chicks - extras
BUMPER "SCTV is on TV." announcer - staff announcer
Credits - 'Do Do Do Da Da Da' by The Police
Mostly repeats. Features a series of announcements from Guy regarding illegal immigrants, and a series of promos for Melvin and Howard.
Additional Viewing: Melvin and Howard, the 1980 film by Jonathan Demme.
Syndication Note: Southside Fracas was cut from syndication.
DVD Note: The Star Wars music in Empires Are A Girl's Best Friend has been changed to a similar-sounding theme.
OPENING
1 Sunrise Semester: Conversational New Yorkese with Norman Gorman (R3)
Small dogs, Walter and Dorothy, and Regular coffee.
Norman Gorman - Flaherty; Soccer player - Peter Wugalter
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television Network." announcer - staff announcer
2 Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert (R2)
The beautiful, dynamic, multi talented Lola in concert this Saturday. ("So Glad to Be Here," "You Light Up My Life") "I want to bear all your children!"
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dancers - Flaherty, Levy, Thomas; announcer - Levy
3 Promo: Yellowbelly (R2)
Yellowbelly shoots a child in the back.
Johnny LaRue as Yellowbelly - Candy; Mother - O'Hara; Child - extra; bystanders - extras; announcer - staff announcer
4 Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe (R2)
Lou interviews one of the greatest announcers in the business, Harvey K-Tel, and finds out they went to the same school.
Lou Jaffe - Levy; Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; Studio Engineer - Candy; extras
BUMPER Promo: Dick Cavett "Coming up on SCTV: Dick Cavett and his special guest, Dick Cavett." announcer - staff announcer
5 Message from Guy: Illegal Aliens 1 081
Guy introduces his Vice President in charge of coordination, an illegal alien, Perini Scleroso.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Perini Scleroso - Martin; announcer - staff announcer
6 Promo: Melvin and Howard I 090
Melvin picks up some hitchhikers and gets them to sing.
Melvin Dummar - Moranis; Howard Hughes - Flaherty; Howard Cosell - Levy; announcer - staff announcer
7 Sneak Previews (R3)
Gene and Robert review the latest Star Wars, Empires are a Girl's Best Friend.
Clip: Empires Are a Girl's Best Friend
Both agree it's the worst Star Wars yet. Dog of the Week is Robert Altman's Henry, based on the comic strip.
Clip: Henry
Henry - Moranis
Gene Siskel - Flaherty; Roger Ebert - Thomas
8 Commercial: The Point Shave and Haircut from
Shickette (R1)
'Get the point.'
Sharon - O'Hara; Pointy headed guy - Levy; Co-worker - Martin; announcer - Candy
9 Dick Cavett (R3)
Dick's guest is Dick Cavett.
Dick Cavett - Moranis; Dick Cavett - Moranis
BUMPER Promo: The Fracases "Tonight on SCTV: Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Welcome back to more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
6a Promo: Melvin and Howards II 090
Melvin picks up another hitchhiker and they sing some more songs.
Melvin Dummar - Moranis; Howard Hughes - Flaherty; Howard Cosell - Levy; Congressman Howard Baker - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
10 The Fracases: Southside Fracas Part 1
Mr Fracas argues about Bunny's upcoming wedding with his wife and Bunny. Bunny wants Southside Johnny to play the music. They go downtown to check out the band with Cole, Bunny's fiance ('All I Want Is Everything').
Bill Fracas - Thomas; Mrs. Fracas - O'Hara; Bernadette (Bunny) Fracas - Martin; Cole Elliot Durning - Moranis; Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes - John Lyon, Billy Rush, Kevin Kavanaugh, Eddie Manion, Ricky Gazda, Richard "La Bamba" Rosenberg, Patti Scialfa; crowd - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of the Fracases and Southside Johnny, later tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
6b Promo: Melvin and Howards III 090
Melvin picks up another hitchhiker. They sing some more.
Melvin Dummar - Moranis; Howard Hughes - Flaherty; Howard Cosell - Levy; Howard Baker - Thomas; Curly Howard - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
11 Only for Women: Divorce (R2)
Today's topic is divorce, and the guest is newly divorced Patricia Donovan, who has redecorated frequently in the past few months. They gain strength from each other.
Host 'Chris' - Martin; Patricia Donovan - O'Hara
BUMPER "This is SCTV, the only network with a four-letter name." announcer - staff announcer
12 Kanadian Korner 10: Making Doug Go (R3)
Doug is asleep so Bob tries to make him go.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
13 Promo: The Babe Ruth Story (R1)
The uplifting saga of one of baseball's immortal heroes, wherein Babe promises to hit a few homers for a sick kid. (Note: new voiceover and bumper for Series 4)
Babe Ruth - Candy; Father - Flaherty; Mother - O'Hara; Bobby - Donald Cowper; Doctor - Ramis; announcer - staff announcer
5a Message from Guy: Illegal Aliens 2 081
Guy introduces Perini, who has an editorial about illegal aliens.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Fracases "Coming up on SCTV, more of Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV Network 90, cable 10 on Jupiter." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "The comedy continues on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
10a The Fracases: Southside Fracas Part 2
Guests mingle at the wedding reception as Asbury Jukes play. Cole introduces his step father to his mother in law. Cole pesters Johnny, while Bunny pesters the caterer, Marcel Bouvier. Salvadore congratulates Mr Fracas on a fine shotgun wedding. Things get out of hand, so the Fracases end the party. Johnny plays a last song ('Fever').
Bill Fracas - Thomas; Mrs. Fracas - O'Hara; Bernadette (Bunny) Fracas - Martin; Cole Elliot Durning - Moranis; Buzz Mulimigami - Flaherty; Marcel Bouvier - Levy; Salvadore Pringu - Candy; Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes - John Lyon, Billy Rush, Kevin Kavanaugh, Eddie Manion, Ricky Gazda, Richard "La Bamba" Rosenberg, Patti Scialfa; guests - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Sid Dithers Private Eye "Next on SCTV, Sid Dithers Private Eye." announcer - staff announcer
5b Message from Guy: Illegal Aliens 3 081
Perini is giving an impromptu editorial when Guy shows up.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
14 Sid Dithers Private Eye (R2)
Sid tracks down the daughter of Mr Steele from San Francisco to a prostitution ring in Beverly Hills.
Sid Dithers - Levy; Wes Steele - Flaherty; Maxine - Martin; Bobby, Maxine's son; Mr Steele's daughter - O'Hara; waiter, customers - extras
BUMPER Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre "Alright kids, stay tuned for Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. Awooohhh..." announcer - staff announcer
15 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf (R2)
Floyd presents Whispers of the Wolf.
Ingmar Bergman's Whispers of the Wolf
Two sisters are depressed and have difficulty dealing with reality.
Desk Clerk - Levy; Sisters - O'Hara, Martin; Midget - extra
Floyd's a bit stunned, but gamely tries to convince us it was scary. He suspects Prickley booked Bergman. (Note: this version has a new soundtrack)
Count Floyd - Flaherty
BUMPER "This concludes SCTV's programming day. Join us another day for another day." announcer - staff announcer
Credits - music by Asbury Jukes
All repeats. In general, Tony Rosato and Robin Duke have been edited out, and the original staff announcer has been replaced with a new Network 90 announcer, with some brand new voiceovers and bumpers.
BUMPER announcer - staff announcer
1 Comment with David Brinkley: Quality Smoke (R3)
Brinkley bemoans the loss of quality smoke.
David Brinkley - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer
OPENING announcer - staff announcer and Network 90 announcer (musical guests)
2 Cooking with Prickley Part 1 (R2)
Prickley cooks with the aid of a Rhythm Ace, and introduces her sister who will let us know where to get one.
Edith Prickley - Martin
3 Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace (R2)
Tex and Edna are offering a deal on the Rhythm Ace (195.95). Four miles of organs, open 24 hours. This weekend is cookout weekend, where Tex will be cooking up piggies on the grill.
Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Martin
2a Cooking with Prickley Part 2 (R2)
The turkey comes out perfectly. (Note: sketch edited from Series 3.)
Edith Prickley - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Career Home Study (R2)
The next time you have a book of matches, don't just pick your teeth with it.
Don Mair - Thomas
5 Mr. Science: Coffee (R1)
Mr Science makes coffee and watches TV.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Donald - Donald Cowper; announcer - Thomas; announcer - network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Sammy Maudlin Show "Coming up, the Sammy Maudlin Show with special guest, Bobby Bittman. Next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
6 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China (R3)
(Already in progress.) Bobby's routine, which was bombing anyway, is interrupted when Bob Hope makes a surprise walk on to plug his new special, "I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars". He brought some out-takes.
Clip: Out-takes from I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars
Hope and his writers pitch some comedy ideas to the Chinese.
Bob Hope - Thomas; Mel Shavelson - Moranis; Interpreter, Chinese - extras;
Hope takes off, Bittman gets up to continue his routine, and Danny Thomas walks on.
Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Danny Thomas - Rosato; Shy girls - extras; Announcer - staff announcer; added announcer - network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Littlest DA "It's high western adventure on the Littlest DA. Maybe on Thursday on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is station identification." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Shock Theater "Shock Theater tonight on SCTV." announcer - a third staff announcer
7 Promo: Taxi Driver with Woody Allen (R3)
Woody Allen is looking at you this season on SCTV.
Woody Allen - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer
8 Transmission Difficulty / Program Change
"Faking Orgasms will not be seen at this time." Announcer - network 90 staff announcer
9 What's My Shoesize? (R2)
Dorothy Kilpatrick - O'Hara; Bennett Cerf ('Cerb') - Thomas; Arlene Francis ('Franklin') - Martin; Kirk Douglas - Flaherty; Host: John Charles Bailey - Levy; Contestant: Barry Stubing - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; added announcer - network 90 staff announcer
10 Kanadian Korner 22: Parking at Donut Places (R3)
Doug's new beer bottle. Why parking lots are so small at donut places. They got a ticket.
Bob Mckenzie - Moranis; Doug Mckenzie - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: Rock Concert "Rock Concert with Barbara Streisand and Slim Whitman, Gino Vanelli and Ringo Starr. Next on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
11 Promo: Taxi Driver with Gregory Peck (R3)
Gregory Peck is looking at you this season on SCTV.
Gregory Peck - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
12 Lee A. Iacocca's Rock Concert (R3)
Lee asks for 1.5 billion dollars in government assistance, encourages watchers to harass their congressmen, complains about government regulations and introduces Slim and Barbara ("You Don't Bring me Flowers"). Lee offers a five dollar rebate and introduces Gino Vanelli ("Stop"). Lee introduces Ringo's new band Rings ("Cause I know That You'll Always be True"). (Note: sketch edited from Series 3)
Lee Iacocca - Thomas; Ringo Starr - Moranis; Gino Vanelli - Levy; Barbara Streisand - Martin; Slim Whitman - Flaherty; Gino's band - extras; announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Mrs Falbo's Tinytown "Watch for Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town in the weeks to come on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
13 Promo: Extreme Close-Up with Dave Thomas (R1)
Host Dave Thomas asks some hard-hitting questions, very close up.
Dave Thomas - Thomas; Moe Green - Ramis
14 Promo: The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes
(R1)
The gripping epic of the king who wanted to be pope, the pope who wanted to be king, and the man who would betray them both.
Peter O'Toole (O'Tule) as the King - Flaherty; Katharine Hepburn (Cathryn Hepbern) - O'Hara; Richard Burton (Berton) as the Pope - Candy; Richard Harris (Hariss) as King of the Popes - Thomas; Victor Spinetti (Spynneti) as the Tailor - Levy; Announcer - Candy
15 Promo: Taxi Driver with Sid Dithers (R3)
Sid Dithers is looking at you this season on SCTV.
Sid Dithers - Levy; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Frontier Process Server "He wants your house, your farm and your wife. He's the Frontier Process Server. Probably tomorrow on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: A Horse Called Richard Harris "A Horse called Richard Harris. He went through one of the worst tribal rituals known to man. Coming soon but not tonight on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
16 Promo: The Love Boat: Deerhunter Special (R3)
All new cast; the ship goes off course and runs into the guys from The Deerhunter.
Announcer - staff announcer
17 Commercial: Chet Vet the Dead Pet Remover
(R2)
Chet will remove your dead pet. No animal too small or too large.
Chet - Thomas
18 Promo: My Fair Lady (R3)
The Professor finds Perini a tough nut to crack. They sing the "Rain In Spain" bit. Eliza gets ready to go to the ball.
Perini Scleroso as Eliza Doolittle - Martin; Rex Harrington Jr. as Professor Henry Higgins - Flaherty; Sir Wilfred Moose-Moryn as Colonel Pickering - Thomas; Announcer - staff announcer
19 Commercial: Harlett Romances (R2)
"We'll show you what real love is all about."
Sharon - O'Hara; Coworker - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Mel's Rock Pile "Richard Harris on Mel's Rock Pile, next on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
20 Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris Part 1 (R3)
The Rock Pile Dance Finals, featuring Jerome and his friend Sandra up against Johnnie Terrio. Mel's musical guest is Richard Harris, who does a lengthy version of MacArthur Park. While waiting for a second verse, Mel talks to some of the kids, and breaks for a commercial.
Mel Slirrup - Levy; Jerome Slirrup - Moranis; Sandra - Duke; Richard Harris - Thomas; Johnny Terrio - extra; Patty Watt - extra; Sheldon Resnik - Rosato; Dancers - extras; Backup singer - extra; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Jive Pawnbroker "He's hip! He's together! He's got sunglasses! He's Jive Pawnbroker! One day next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
20a Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris Part 2 (R3)
Richard finally gets to the stirring finale of MacArthur Park.
Mel Slirrup - Levy; Jerome Slirrup - Moranis; Sandra - Duke; Richard Harris - Thomas; Johnny Terrio - extra; Patty Watt - extra; Sheldon Resnik - Rosato; Dancers - extras; Backup singer - extra; added announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
21 Shock Theatre: Early to Bed (R1)
Billy's not scared by Poe. So dad tells the story of the girl who wouldn't wash her face.
The Girl Who Wouldn't Wash her Face
A girl gets too many pimples.
Girl who wouldn't wash her face - O'Hara; Her Mother - Martin; School kids - Candy, Levy, Ramis, Thomas; Father - Flaherty
Billy is still not scared. So dad tells a final scary story.
Father - Flaherty; Billy his son - Donald Cowper; announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: 3D House of Stewardesses "Coming up on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, it's Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses, sometime next month on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
Credits: Bobby Bittman complains to SCTV; Bobby Bittman - Levy
Johnny LaRue copes with the fallout from Polynesiantown in episode 2: it bombed, was slammed by the critics (it really was slammed by Marvin Kitman, reviewer for Newsday), and he went over budget with the crane shot at the end. Caballero gives him one last chance - one camera, one man, one microphone: Street Beef. The rest of the show is filled out with repeats.
With this show, the opening is much simplified, losing the story of the cast coming to New York, and introducing the now familiar breaking equipment used in the syndicated shows. New bumper graphics were also added.
1 Tri-Promo: Tomorrow, Tonight, Today (R3)
Three great news magazines, back to back.
Announcer - Staff announcer
2 Commercial: Fillips Milk of Amnesia (R1)
To help you forget your problems.
Woman - O'Hara
OPENING "The SCTV Television Network now begins its programming day. Yes, SCTV is on the air." Announcer - Thomas, staff announcer
3 LaRue Wrap Part 1: Parking Lot, Lobby 080
LaRue's lost his parking spot because he went over budget on Polynesiantown. As LaRue signs in, Gus asks LaRue about that Hawaiian shirt from that movie that bombed that he was going to give Gus.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Painters - extras
4 Sunrise Semester: Man's Ability to Imitate with Mr Wilcox (R3)
Ed Sullivan (shrug the shoulders) and Jimmy Stewart (forget what you are about to say), together.
Mr Wilcox - Moranis
3a LaRue Wrap Part 2: Guy's Waiting Room 080
LaRue goes to Caballero's office, where he's forced to wait with a bunch of other people selling pilots. He talks to a Mr Habib, who's heard LaRue went over budget on Polynesiantown. Caballero snubs LaRue. (Muzak by Tom Munroe)
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Administrative Assistant - extra; Achilles - extra; Mr Habib - extra; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Other people waiting - extras; Tom Munroe - Moranis
5 Promo: My Life-One More Time (R3)
Woody finds someone he can relate to.
Woody Allen - Moranis; Female Woody Allen - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Space Shuttle and Robert Gordon "Walter Cronkite, David Brinkley and Robert Gordon next on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "A rabbi and a scotsman discuss furniture catalogs later tonight on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
3b LaRue Wrap Part 3: Guy's Office 080
Much later, Johnny's still waiting. Guy is talking to Achilles; they are watching the final scene from Polynesiantown, and Caballero is telling Achilles that crane shots are too expensive and unnecessary. LaRue barges in. Guy cancels all of LaRue's projects. LaRue grovels. Guy gives him one last chance - one camera, one man, one microphone, no budget: Street Beef.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Achilles - extra; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
6 SCTV Special Report: The Space Shuttle 147
Walter and David's coverage of the latest shuttle launch. Walter interviews Robert Gordon, while David Brinkley describes the heat resistant tiles on the shuttle. Gordon performs 'Some Day, Some Way'.
Walter Cronkite - Thomas; David Brinkley - Moranis; Robert Gordon Band: Robert Gordon - vocals, Danny
Gatton - guitar, Lance Quinn - guitar, Tony Garnier - Bass, Shannon Ford - Drums; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Grapes of Mud "The Grapes of Mud. The Movie of the Week, later tonight on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "You may think you're watching NBC, but this is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Fantasy Island "Fantasy Island is visited by Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and lots of chicks, soon on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
3c LaRue Wrap Part 4: SCTV Corridors 080
LaRue runs into Camembert, who tries to tell him a joke. He then spots William Morris and chases him down. Apparently LaRue misunderstood the production costs that Morris had quoted him for Polynesiantown. LaRue demands big production values from Morris for Street Beef.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Earl Camembert - Levy; William Morris (Sweating Weasel) - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Edith Prickley (voice only) - Martin
7 Commercial: Phil's Nails (R2)
He's putting nails in his own coffin with this sale.
Phil the Garment King - Levy
8 Kanadian Korner 6: Backbacon and Snow Chains (R3)
Bob cooks some back bacon, while Doug's got snow chains on his feet. Doug gets the camera to zoom in.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: Bad Acting In Hollywood "Bad Acting In Hollywood, coming up next on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
9 Bad Acting in Hollywood with Tom Boslee (R2)
Tom hosts a look at one of Hollywood's worst films.
Johnny Dark Always Rings Twice
Johnny Dark is tried for murder, his mother joins him on the stand, his alibi turns states, but its all interrupted when the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor.
Johnny Dark - Flaherty; Judge - Candy; Ma Dark - Martin; Johnny's Girl - O'Hara; Defender - Levy; Prosecutor - Thomas; Crowd, Jury - extras
Tom has some closing comments.
Host: Tom Boslee - Candy
BUMPER Promo: Fighting Air Dogs "Lin Ye Tang fights the whole American Air Force the only way he knows how -- with Glenn Miller records. Fighting Air Dogs Over the Pacific, maybe on Thursday on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Quincy Cartoon Coroner "Cartoon characters just don't die like we do and it's Quincy's job to find out why. Quincy Cartoon Coroner on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
10 Commercial: Biller Hi-Lite (R2)
Maxy and Jake discuss their favorite beer. 'Less taste!' 'Better calories!'
Maxy Stein - Flaherty, Jake Primo - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
3d LaRue Wrap Part 5: Larry Siegel's Office 080
LaRue goes to Siegel to try to get some backing and tells him his troubles with Polynesiantown. The only thing Siegel liked about it was the crane shot at the end. Siegel calls Caballero, who tells him the scoop. Siegel decides not to back LaRue, and tells him 'you don't need me, just make sure the thing has a good ending.'
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Larry Siegel - Moranis; Guy Caballero (voice only) - Flaherty; Elaine (voice only) - O'Hara; Morris Plant (voice only) - extra
BUMPER Promo: Faking Orgasms "How Fake an Orgasm in just a few minutes on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Alfred Hitchcock Presents "Alfred Hitchcock Presents, one day next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
11 Commercial: Long Distance (R2)
A woman carps about not receiving any calls from an old friend. 'Get the long distance feeling, before it's too late.'
Complaining woman - O'Hara; Angry neighbors - Candy; Concerned Neighbor - Martin; Bystanders, ambulance men - extras; Announcer - staff announcer
12 Lunch Time Street Beef 080
LaRue is on the street doing his show. LaRue clears up one thing: he's not gay. The topic is male nude dancers. The street is kind of empty, so they start walking. Johnny's confused by how empty the street is. He finally finds the people at the end of the street, which has been barricaded because a film, Lunchtime Streetbeef, is being filmed. A fracas breaks out between people who did and didn't like Polynesiantown. The closing shot is a helicopter shot. (Credit: Helicopter provided by William Morris)
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Cop - extra; Folks on the street, cops - extras; Guy Caballero (voice) - Flaherty; Announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Edith Prickley "Watch for Mrs. Prickley on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
13 SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part I (R1)
Tom arrives home from prison. The family is packing up to leave California and go to Oklahoma to escape the mud. They pick up a preacher who lost the calling on the way. Grandpa doesn't make it all the way. Tom gets a job dusting crops, but gets mean mad when Muley calls him a red and beats him to death.
Ma Joad - O'Hara; Henry Fonda as Tom Joad - Flaherty; Pa Joad - Thomas; Rose Joad - Martin; Preacher - Levy; Muley Graves - Ramis
BUMPER Promo: The Gerry Todd Show "Gerry Todd, video DJ, late nights on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
13a SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part II (R1)
Tom gets home to find Rose has run off with the preacher. He tells grandma what happened.
Ma Joad - O'Hara; Henry Fonda as Tom Joad - Flaherty
14 Words to Live By: Rabbi Karlov (R3)
The Rabbi provides advice on dealing with gentile insults, and brings Angus out to demonstrate.
Rabbi Karlov - Ramis; Angus Crock - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
15 Sunrise Semester: Faking Orgasms with Dr Cheryl Kinsey (R1)
Some useful phrases for faking an orgasm: Don't stop lover, please don't stop; Oh you're good, you're so good; Make me a woman big boy; Oh, i've got the music in me.
Dr Cheryl Kinsey - Martin
BUMPER Promo: On the Waterfront Again "Bobby Bittman, Lola Heatherton, On the Waterfront Again, on SCTV probably tomorrow." announcer - staff announcer
Credits: Lunchtime Street Beef theme and helicopter shot; the helicopter crashes
Emmy winner: outstanding writing in a variety or music program
With its clever premise, it is often cited as being among the finest shows of all. The wraparound concept features Guy Caballero and Bill Needle dealing with advertisers (the Sunbright people) and the power they wield. Also includes another Merv Griffin, the first Mrs Falbo's Tiny Town, the first appearance of Harry, the Man with the Snake on his Face, a classic Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, the first National Midnight Star, and anchored by the second Gerry Todd Show.
Additional Viewing: In 1981, Carol Burnett won a suit against the National Enquirer for a story they published in 1976 claiming she was drunk in a restaurant and had a row with Henry Kissenger. Poochare Dog Food parodies commercials for BonJour Jeans that ran in the early 80s.
Syndication Note: Mrs Falbo's Tiny Town was edited
DVD Note: The repeat of Indira has been removed. The Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young music (Gerry Todd Show) has been changed, though the "White Christmas" vocals remain.
OPENING
1 Promo: Sunrise Semester: Post Natal Exercises 112
She had a body she can be proud of only one month after giving birth.
Betty Thomas Nihauser - Martin; announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
2 Commercial: Poochare Dog Food 097,156C,183
All meat dog food. "It's dog food. It's now."
Hip guy - Levy; Women - extras; announcer - Candy
BUMPER Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre "Hold on to your seats, 'cause Dr. Tongue is back! Dr. Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses, later tonight." announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: Sunbright 112
SCTV is brought to you in part by Sunbright. "When you want pure white, choose Sunbright."
Network 90 announcer - extra
4 Message from Guy: Sponsors 112
Guy, surrounded by boxes of Sunbright, vows to please any pressure group that has allied themselves with any of their sponsors.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
3a Commercial: Sunbright Detergent 112
I...like...Sunbright. And a towel in every box.
Pitch man - Levy; Housewife 1 - O'Hara
5 Moral Majority Wrap Part 1 112
Guy, still surrounded by boxes of Sunbright, talks with the good people at Sunbright, slavishly reaffirming his intention to knuckle under to any pressure group.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Nancy Geller - O'Hara; Peter Calabrese - Moranis
6 Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Return to Mayberry 075
(Called 'The Merv Griffith Show') Helen Crum decides to have a surprise birthday party for Gomer Pyle. Bernie has a problem because both Juanita and Thelma Lou expect him to take them to the party. And Opie wants to go fishing with Gomer. Merv visits Floyd the Barber. Otis joins Merv fresh from a two-week moonshine binge. Bernie and Merv's plans unravel when Aunt Bea brings lunch to the jailhouse. At the party, Opie returns from fishing with Otis, drunk.
Merv Griffin as Merv Griffith - Moranis; Fred Travelina as Gomer Pyle - Thomas; Bernie - Flaherty; Opie - Graham Stinson; Aunt Bea - O'Hara; Floyd the Barber - Levy; Otis Campbell - Candy; Juanita, Helen - extras
BUMPER Promo: The Gerry Todd Show "Beta format or VHS, get set to record, 'cause Gerry Todd's coming your way tonight on SCTV!" announcer - staff announcer
7 Critics Corner with Bill Needle: The Moral Majority Part 1 112
Bill thinks television has gone to the dogs and comes out hard against the moral majority.
Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - alternate staff announcer
3b Commercial: Sunbright Dishwashing Soap112
The commercial gets yanked part way through.
Pitch man - Levy; Housewife 2 - O'Hara
7a Critics Corner with Bill Needle: The Moral Majority Part 2 112
Startled by the sponsor's quick response to his comments, Bill revises his opinion of the moral majority.
Bill Needle - Thomas
3b Commercial: Sunbright Dishwashing Soap 112
"My..glasses...like...sunbright." And a bath towel in every box.
Pitch man - Levy; Housewife 2 - O'Hara
7b Critics Corner with Bill Needle: The Moral Majority Part 3 112
Bill will be back next week with a movie review. He signs off, holding a box of Sunbright.
Bill Needle - Thomas
5a Moral Majority Wrap Part 2: Guy talks to sponsors 112
The sponsors liked Bill Needle, well the second half, anyway, and want to use him as a spokesman.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Peter Calabrese - Moranis; Nancy Geller - O'Hara
8 Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town: Counting to 10 147
Mrs Falbo has an accident and shows up in a neck brace. She changes into something more comfortable and talks to the animals. She and Mr Messenger count to 10. For Storytime, she looks in on the King and Queen.
Mrs Falbo - Martin; Mr Messenger - Candy; King, Queen - extras
BUMPER Promo: Mel's Rock Pile "Next week on Mel's Rock Pile, special guest Roy Orbison." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is the SCTV television network" announcer - staff announcer
9 National Midnight Star 104
Rawl starts the show explaining the reasons behind the show. Some headlines: Colonel Sanders' illegitimate son; Slim Whitman first man to yodel on the moon; stooge you like best key to your personality; top researcher confirms dreams can kill; Streisand's nose a fake; Reverend confirms life after death. They show the film of the week.
Film of the Week: Kissinger's drunken rampage
Kissinger - Levy; Diners - extras
Top researcher confirms underwear can kill; Insider story: A close personal friend reveals that Alan Alda isn't such a nice guy.
"Watch yourself - our insiders are everywhere"
Rawl Withers - Levy; Anchor people - Moranis, Thomas, O'Hara; Top Researcher - Candy; Reverend Dan Potts - Flaherty; Close personal friend of Alan Alda - Flaherty; announcer - Network 90 announcer
10 Promo: The Brooke Shields Show 080
Brooke's new variety show, wherein she sings ('Whip It'), dances, and interviews celebrities (including Tip O'Neill and Kirk Douglas). Her mother tries to get her to behave.
Brooke Shields - O'Hara; Tip O'Neill - Candy; Brooke's mom - Moranis; Kirk Douglas - Flaherty
BUMPER Promo: Sammy Maudlin Show "The Sammy Maudlin Show, Friday nights on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
5b Moral Majority Wrap Part 3: Guy's Office 112
Guy persuades Bill to go along with this Sunbright deal by getting him to think about the money they could make...
Bill Needle - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
11 Commercial: Indira, live at the Ackron Arena (R)
The musical about a prime minister who wanted to be a singer, and ended up seducing a nation.
Indira Gandhi - Martin; Slim Whitman - Flaherty; extras - extras; announcer - Thomas
12 Doorway to Hell: The Man Who Lived In a Box 079
Tang introduces a a show about a man who lived in a box, and gives away the ending.
Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Devil - Moranis; Actor - Dick Blasucci
BUMPER Promo: Rock Concert "Join hosts Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok as they blow up rock stars on Rock Concert with special guests Freddy Fender, Randy Newman, Patti Smith, the Village People and Helen Reddy. They blow up bigger on Rock Concert, later this month on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
13 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses 081
Floyd shows some clips from the House of Stewardesses. (Floyd is flogging the glasses for 18 bucks plus 3 bucks for handling).
Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses
Dr Tongue orders Bruno to get him a human body. The doorbell rings. Some stewardesses. Their car has broken down.
Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras
Floyd insists on seeing more clips.
Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses
Dr Tongue's plans have worked...almost too well.
Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras
Floyd's glasses are fogged up.
Count Floyd - Flaherty
BUMPER Promo: Dogsmoke "Dog City is stunned as Lassie cops a plea and squeals on Rin Tin Tin on Dogsmoke, Sundays at two on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV, the all-comedy network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "You may think you're watching NBC, but this is the SCTV television network." announcer - staff announcer
14 Kanadian Korner 20: Stuff that Bugs Us (R3)
People who honk when you stop to look at an accident; express lines in Canadian Tire.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
3c Commercial: Bill Needle for Sunbright Cleanser112
"My kids...like...sunbright." Bill finds a towel in the Sunbright container and hardly any soap, wonders what the hell's going on, and walks off.
Bill Needle - Thomas; Housewife 3 - O'Hara
15 Message from Guy: Pressure Groups 112
Guy tries to do damage control with an announcement, but gets a call from Sunbright, who cancel their account. So Guy tosses the Sunbright box and comes out strongly against pressure groups.
Bill Needle - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
16 Commercial: Harry's Discount Sex Shop 112
Harry, the man with the snake on his face, has great deals on adult accessories.
Harry, the man with the snake on his face - Candy; Chuck - Dick Blasucci
16a Announcement: This Space Available, Call for rates 112
Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Mating Game (clip is from Message from Prickley from same show) "Brush up your mating do's and don'ts with Edith Prickley and the Mating Game, weekdays at 9 on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
17 Commercial: Floyd Robertson for Rolling Hills 112
Floyd's been at Rolling Hills Rehabilitation Center for the past year. And they don't beat you or anything.
Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; announcer - Network 90 announcer
18 SCTV News: Floyd's rehab 112
Sponsored by Rolling Hills. Earl welcomes Floyd back. Items: Commies come out to Melonville May Day parade. Con man bilks Daughters of American Revolution. Johnny LaRue's car was blown up by protesters against his series "Johnnie's Angels." Earl gives an editorial about Guts, the kind of guts it took for Floyd ('known to millions of kids as Count Floyd') to beat his drinking problem. Floyd takes off.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
19 The Gerry Todd Show Part 1 104
In the wee small ones of a Saturday morning, Gerry's got video from Tom Monroe ('Downtown', with heavy backup from Mike McDonald), his disc 'Tom Munroe Sings Petula Clark'. (Note: Munroe's watching Dr Cheryl Kinsey on TV in his video.)
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Tom Munroe - Moranis; Mike McDonald - Moranis; bums - Doug Steckler, extras
20 Commercial: Crazy Hy's: Home Studio 104
Complete facilities for your own TV studio. Special this week, half-inch portapak.
Crazy Hy - Levy; Silent Hy - Moranis
Gerry Todd Bumper 104
Man on the street - extra; Bumper heads - Flaherty, Martin, Levy, Candy, Thomas, Moranis
19a The Gerry Todd Show Part 2 104
Gerry's got a man on the street looking for a lost dog. Gerry has problems with his super, before going to video from Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young ("White Christmas").
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Guy looking for dog - Thomas; Barking bum - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; Graham Nash - Levy; Stephen Stills - Thomas; Neil Young - Moranis
21 Commercial: Carpets Galore 104
The Doobie Brothers for Carpets Galore.
Mike McDonald - Moranis; announcer - Moranis
Gerry Todd Bumper 104
Woman on the street - extra; Bumper heads - Flaherty, Martin, Levy, Candy, Thomas, Moranis
19b The Gerry Todd Show Part 3 104
Gerry checks the traffic. He signs off with a video from Christopher Cross, featuring Mike McDonald ("Ride Like the Wind").
Gerry Todd - Moranis; Mike McDonald - Moranis; engineers - Jaime Paul Rock, extras
5c Moral Majority Wrap Part 4: Guy and Harry 112
SCTV loses the Harry's Sex Shop account because the programming isn't sexy or violent enough. Guy decides to go public, and have a pledge week.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Harry, the man with the snake on his face (on the phone) - Candy
BUMPER Promo: Pledge Week "Join Johnny LaRue and the SCTV staff for a special pledge show, next week on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
Credits
With the loss of the Sunbright account, SCTV resorts to begging for money, PBS-style. The Pledge Week wraparound segments, and pretty much everything else were totally excluded from the syndicated episodes.
Additional Viewing: Kovak Expert is a parody of the movie Ordinary People.
Syndication Note: The entire Pledge Week and Studio Tour wraparound was cut, along with Short Story Playhouse, and Roy Orbison singing Working for the Man
DVD Note: The bumper for The Nobel has been moved from the first break to the very last piece in the show. The Kovak Expert commercial has been moved from segment 2 to segment 5. The bumper for The Tubes on Scuttlebutt Lodge has been removed. A seemingly new (?) bumper for Roy Orbison has been inserted before his performance of "Working for the Man." Bumpers for The Silly Bastard and One On the Town have been reshuffled throughout the show.
CBC Note: The CBC 60 minute Pledge Week show features the pledge week wraparound as per the Network 90 show, along with Hugh Betcha's Short Story Playhouse. Otherwise, the running order is different, and it includes an otherwise unavailable Great White North. The running order is as follows:
- Opening
- 5 Neat Guys Neatest Hits
- Pledge Week Part 1: Intro
- Brenda Vaccaro for Bren's Genfem Protecteze Pons
- Pledge Week Part 2: Studio Tour
- Studio Tour Part 1
- BREAK
- Pledge Week Part 3: Bobby Bittman
- Gene Shalit's Critics Special
- BREAK
- Great White North: Canadian Football
- Studio Tour Part 2
- Pledge Week Part 4: Count Floyd and Lola Heatherton
- Studio Tour Part 2 Continued
- You!: Dr Saul Reuben
- BREAK
- Pre-Teen World: Rough Trade
- BREAK
- Studio Tour Part 3: Dr. Tongue and Bruno
- Hugh Betcha's Short Story Playhouse: The Private Booth
- Studio Tour Part 4
- Pledge Week Part 5: Studio Tour finale
- CREDITS
OPENING
1 Pledge Week Part 1: Intro
Guy explains Pledge Week ("just because we're a commercial network, doesn't mean we make money").
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; phone volunteers - extras
BUMPER Promo: The Nobel "The Nobel. Next week's SCTV Movie of the Week." announcer - staff announcer
2 Commercial: Dr. Shekter 147
A bouncy Dr Pepper-style commercial for the good doctor. Wouldn't you like him to be your doctor?
Dr Shekter - Moranis; Patient - Levy; Patients - extras
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90" announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
3 Farm Film Report
Big Jim and Billy sol pick some of their favorite movies, foreign and domestic. Their pick for best domestic film is Scanners.
Big Jim McBob - Flaherty; Billy Sol Hurok - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer
4 Commercial: Kovak Expert 104
Don't waste time and film taking unmemorable pictures; The Expert from Kovak will only take extraordinary pictures. "When the vivid memory of it alone won't do."
Donald Sutherland - Flaherty; Wife - O'Hara; Son - Moranis
1a Pledge Week Part 2: Studio Tour
Guy's a bit dismayed at the lackluster response, so he shows some footage of what SCTV will show if they don't get the money: soccer. Hours and hours of soccer. The phones start ringing. He introduces Maureen Wallace.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; phone volunteers - extras
5 Studio Tour Part 1
Maureen, SCTV's director of public relations, talks about the premiums you'll get if you donate. This week, a free tour of the SCTV studio. Just as she starts the tour, a couple of tough guys join the crowd. The door to the building is locked, so Maureen scales the wall.
Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra
BUMPER Promo: Mel's Rock Pile "Coming up next: Mel's Rock Pile on SCTV" announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
6 Mel's Rock Pile: 20th Anniversary Special with Roy Orbison 097
Mel's got a surprise, but won't say what it is. He talks to Dr DeRubertis, who was on the very first show. They have a spot dance. Everyone rushes the spot. Mel talks to more old timers from the first show. He chats with a couple who first met on the Rock Pile, and who don't get along so well now.
Clip: First Mel's Rock Pile
Mel talks to some of the kids (well, the same kids, 20 years before). Mel meets Roy Orbison and passes out.
Mel introduces Roy Orbison, and passes out again. Roy does his number ("Pretty Woman"), and closes the show.
Mel Slirrup - Levy; Dr Hudgie DeRubertis - Flaherty; Blake Every - Moranis; Bill Melater - Thomas; Otto Schmidt - Candy; Mrs Schmidt - O'Hara; Roy Orbison - Roy Orbison; Announcer - staff announcer; dancers - extras
BUMPER Promo: Tracking the Unknown "Edith Prickley goes after the big one. Tracking the Unknown, tonight on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER: "This is SCTV, the 90 minute network." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER: "Welcome back to more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
7 Tracking the Unknown with Edith Prickley 159
Edith heads to the Gir Forest in India to search for a jungle boy.
Edith Prickley - Martin; Jackie - extra; Grover - extra; cyclists - extras; savage tribesmen - Candy, Levy; announcer - Candy
1b Pledge Week Part 3: Bobby Bittman
Bobby does a routine with a giant phone. Bobby's book 'The Total Filmmaker' is a premium. The Elephant Man is working a phone. Hal, the cafeteria guy shows up to bring the next tour group through. Maureen's tour group comes in to replace the people working the phones.
Bobby Bittman - Levy; The Elephant Man - Thomas; Hal Waxberg (Al Waxman) - Moranis; phone volunteers - extras; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra
BUMPER Promo: Scuttlebutt Lodge "Rock with the Tubes next week on Scuttlebut Lodge." (Clips from Bouncin Back to You and The Fishin Musician) announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
CBC Great White North: Canadian Football
Bob explains how Canadian football differs from American. [Featured on the CBC version of Pledge Week only]
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
5a Studio Tour Part 2
Hal takes a tour group to the cafeteria, where the Elephant Man bumps into the toughs and a shoving match breaks out. The tour group starts chasing the Elephant Man.
Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; Hal Waxberg (Al Waxman) - Moranis; The Elephant Man - Thomas; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra
1c Pledge Week Part 4: Count Floyd and Lola Heatherton
We return to Pledge Week as Lola finishes a dramatic reading of Neil Simon's The Out of Towners. The whole play. Lola makes a challenge - anyone who donates 5,000 dollars, she will bear his child. They get a call.
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Count Floyd - Flaherty; phone volunteers - extras
5a Studio Tour Part 2 continued
The Elephant Man is on the other end of the line. The tour catches up to him, so he keeps running, and takes refuge in a room with Dr Tongue and Woody Tobias.
Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; The Elephant Man - Thomas; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra
8 Critic's Corner with Bill Needle: RCA editorial
Bill starts by making it clear he isn't for sale. He takes a piece out of RCA for not giving NBC satellite time. He gets a phone call. Apparently it was a decision made at the highest level. He gets another call. He says good night.
Bill Needle - Thomas; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Roy Orbison "More of Roy Orbison, next on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Silly Bastard "He was more than illegitimate, he was an idiot. The Silly Bastard, next month on SCTV." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
9 Roy Orbison: Workin' for the Man
Still on the Mel's Rock Pile set, Roy does 'Workin' for the Man'.
Roy Orbison - himself; Band - band; announcer - staff announcer
5b Studio Tour Part 3: Dr. Tongue and Bruno
Dr Tongue and Woody mistake the Elephant Man for an actor. The mob arrives outside the door. Woody shows the Elephant Man a secret exit.
Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; The Elephant Man - Thomas
BUMPER "This is SCTV Network 90. Nice name, eh?" announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "And now the comedy continues on SCTV" announcer - staff announcer
10 Fireside Chat: Gun Control 079
Mayor Shanks wonders where they come up with those facts about gun control. He gives milkbones to the various stuffed animals around him.
Tommy Shanks - Candy; announcer - announcer
11 Commercial: Pit Stop Deodorant (R2)
For women who do the job of men.
Jan Wilson, professional Race Car Driver - Martin; Mechanics - Candy, Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
12 Kanadian Korner 4: Calculators (R3)
Bob calls the show Kanadian Korner again, and explains they can't use that name unless they spell it with Ks. Doug gets the camera to zoom in. They are opposed to kids using calculators in school, 'cause they didn't get to.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: O'Henry "Join Hugh Betcha on Short Story Playhouse. O'Henry's masterpiece tonight on SCTV."
announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
13 Hugh Betcha's Short Story Playhouse: The Private Booth
This week, the stories of O'Henry, the master of the surprise ending.
The Private Booth
A gentleman informs that waiter at his favorite restaurant that he is going to commit suicide. The waiter gives the gentleman a piece of his mind. A lion kills the waiter.
Alex Ticatch - Candy; Maitre D - Levy; Waiter - Thomas; Lion - Flaherty; diners - extras; Narrator: Hugh Betcha - Flaherty
Hugh, unhappy with the improbable ending, looks it up in a life of O'Henry.
O'Henry's Life: The Private Booth
O'Henry argues with his wife after she finishes reading the story. He goes to his local pub, and is ridiculed for the ending. His publisher likes the lion, but tries to persuade O'Henry to get rid of the rest of the story. O'Henry ends up in the booth and contemplates suicide. A lion shows up.
O'Henry - Candy; Wife - O'Hara; Man - Thomas; friends at the pub - Levy, Moranis; bar patrons - extras; Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; publisher - Moranis; Lion: Hugh Betcha - Flaherty
Hugh discusses the moral of the story.
Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
5c Studio Tour Part 4
As the taping of Short Story Playhouse ends, the Elephant Man runs by, pursued by a mob.
O'Henry - Candy; Hugh Betcha - Flaherty; The Elephant Man - Thomas; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra
BUMPER Promo: One On the Town "Earl Camembert's the one to watch on One on the Town."
announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
14 Commercial: Daylea Yogurt (R2)
Interviewer - Thomas; Anna Karmalov - Martin; Olga Demetrov - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
1d Pledge Week Part 5: Studio Tour finale
Lin Ye Tang curses all viewers who don't call. The Elephant Man arrives pursued by the mob. Guy decides to take his mask off to boost the ratings, revealing a happy elephant head. A billionaire, pleased with the happy ending, pledges thousands. Backstage, Bill Needle removes the elephant head and laughs with Guy over the success of their swindle.
Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; The Elephant Man - extra; tourists - extras; tough guys - Walter Belcourt, extra; Hal Waxberg (Al Waxman) - Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Bill Needle - Thomas
Credits
The wraparound deals with Lola Heatherton and her drug problems. Also introduces the very first episode of You!, hosted by the slightly neurotic Libby Wolfson, and the first Fishin' Musician, the main vehicle for showcasing musical acts.
Additional Viewing: The Nobel is a parody of the 1966 film The Oscar, which starred Stephen Boyd, Elke Sommer, Milton Berle, and Tony Bennett, among others, as well as 1963 thriller The Prize, also starring Elke Sommer, with Paul Newman and Edward G Robinson. Jake Lamotta's Raging Bull-B-Q parodies Raging Bull. The coffee commercial pitch man is an impression of Robert Young (Marcus Welby MD), who did ads for Sanka.
In the SCTV News segment, after Earl blows up, Floyd refers to him as Frank Reynolds - Reynolds was an ABC newscaster at the time. Earl's outburst is a spoof of the moment during ABC News' breaking coverage of the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan on March 30, 1981, after initial reports on all three networks (ABC, CBS, NBC) came out suggesting that his press secretary, James Brady, had died from wounds received when Reagan was shot. When Reynolds learned that this was not true, but that in fact Brady's condition was critical, he let out on the air: "Let's get it NAILED DOWN . . . somebody . . . let's find out! Let's get it straight so we can report this thing accurately!" Of course, it could be argued that as a journalist, Earl was no Frank Reynolds - more like Dan Rather whose mania for getting the story out first without any regard for whether it was true or not was called out by his ex-CBS News colleague Roger Mudd in his 2008 book The Place to Be: Washington, CBS, and the Glory Days of Television News. [Thanks William Brown]
Syndication Note: The Nobel was cut from syndication.
OPENING
1 Promo: Gene Shalit Critics' Special 076
Gene Shalit and his guests pan each other's performances.
Gene Shalit - Levy; Roger Ebert - Thomas; Gene Siskel - Flaherty; Rona Barrett - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
2 Wrong Side Of the Bed with Bill Needle 090
Bill's new show is a morning show - Bill Needle-style: no fake cheeriness, and he'll get it over with as painlessly as possible. His first guest is Lola, who shows up a little late and a little wasted. Bill chews her out for taking pills on a family show and she walks.
Host: Bill Needle - Thomas; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Crew - extra; announcer - Network 90 announcer
BUMPER Promo: Fantasy Island "Fulfill your fantasy next week on Fantasy Island." announcer - staff announcer
3 Commercial: John McEnroe for Coffee 078
John replaces his gatorade with coffee. Three weeks later, we see the results.
John McEnroe - Moranis; Father - Levy; Dr Robert Angly (Coffee commercial pitch man) - Thomas; play-by-play - Moranis; tennis player, referee - extras; director, crew - crew
4 Lola Wrap Part 1: Lola's Dressing Room 090
Guy cancels Lola's special, just like he cancelled their love. Lola is distraught, while Guy has a flashback to him and Lola running/wheeling across green fields...
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Guy Caballero - Flaherty
5 Commercial: Jake Lamotta's Raging Bull-B-Q 076
For good eats at a price that can't be beat.
Jake Lamotta - Candy; Joey - Moranis; Waitress - O'Hara; Customer - Levy; customers - extras
BUMPER Promo: The Heys of Our Lives announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
6 The Fishin' Musician: The Tubes Part 1 076
Gil introduces the show.
Gil Fisher - Candy; announcer - staff announcer
7 Commercial: K-Tel Product Crusher
Dispose of unwanted and unnecessary products, including the Product Crusher. Also comes in Medium, Large, Extra Large, and Jumbo sizes.
Harvey K-Tel - Thomas; crew - extra
6a The Fishin' Musician: The Tubes Part 2 076
Clips from their fishing trip for large mouthed bass in the heart of bigmouth country. Their guide, Willie Nelson, leads them into weeds. After the clips, The Tubes do a number ("Sushi Girl"). Gil presents the Tubes with copies of his book, while the tubes give him a bass mounted on a record.
Gil Fisher - Candy; The Tubes: Fee Waybill - Lead Vocals, Roger Steen - Guitar, Bill "Sputnik" Spooner - Guitar/Vocals, Prairie Prince - Drums, Michael Cotten - Synthesizer, Vince Welnick - Keyboards/Vocals, Rick Anderson - Bass; Willie Nelson - extra; guides - extra; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Great White North with Ian Thomas announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: You! announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
4a Lola Wrap Part 2: Newsroom 090
LaRue bums some money off Earl, who's running late and doesn't have a lead story, and discusses how Guy cancelled Lola's special. In the hall, LaRue relieves Cole of his cash and chocolate bars, and off handedly cracks that Lola's probably jumped out of her window by now. Cole tells Earl, and Earl has his lead story.
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Earl Camembert - Levy; Cole Elliot Durning - Moranis
8 SCTV News: Lola obituary 091
Earl interrupts Floyd with a bulletin: Lola Heatherton is dead, by her own hand, because she was distraught at the cancellation of her special. He gives a stirring career retrospective. Floyd interrupts him to announce that Lola is in fact still alive.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer
4b Lola Wrap Part 3: Guy's Office 091
Caballero is inundated by calls from people wondering if Lola's special is cancelled. Guy is forced to put the show back on.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty
BUMPER: Lola plugs her special; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara 091
9 You!: Dr Saul Reuben 085
Libby is joined by Dr Saul Reuben to discuss women's problems today.
Libby Wolfson - Martin; Dr Saul Reuben - Moranis
BUMPER Promo: The Nobel announcer - staff announcer
10 Bouncin' Back to You Part 1 091
Lola is wasted; she dismisses the dancers and sings a special song for Guy. She bad mouths all her ex-lovers, including Bobby 'How was I' Bittman, Johnny 'Why don't you just suffocate me' LaRue and Count Floyd 'You're so bad it's scary'. She is hauled off. (The music is Henry Mancini's "Soldier in the Rain".)
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Levy, Dick Blasucci, extras; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer
4c Lola Wrap Part 4: Guy's Office 091
Meanwhile, Guy's watching the show and regrets letting it go ahead. Gil comes in and mentions that the Tubes are still around, so Guy tells them to set up in studio 3.
Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Gil Fisher - Candy
BUMPER Promo: Sammy Maudlin "Bittman's back on the Sammy Maudlin show" announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90" announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV. Channel 11 in Hamilton, Cable 104 in Blawnox" announcer - staff announcer
10a Bouncin' Back to You Part 2 091
The Tubes perform "Talk to Ya Later".
The Tubes: Fee Waybill - Lead Vocals, Roger Steen - Guitar, Bill "Sputnik" Spooner - Guitar/Vocals, Prairie Prince - Drums, Michael Cotten - Synthesizer, Vince Welnick - Keyboards/Vocals, Rick Anderson - Bass; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "You may think you're watching NBC, but this is the SCTV television network" announcer - staff announcer
11 SCTV Movie Of the Week: The Nobel Part 1
At the Nobel Prize ceremony, Pinky reflects on the career of one of the nominees for medicine, Mike Maxwell.
Mike breaks into medicine by impressing the head of surgery, Jane Weidermeyer, with his knife work. Mike dumps his girl Laurel and shacks up with Jane, who carries him through medical school. On graduation day, he steals her research and ruins her. Eventually, his lack of knowledge of the human body gets him into trouble and booted out of the Mayo Clinic. His lawyer Cubby tries to help him get a position at a VD clinic run by Doctor Braino. At the restaurant where they meet, he finds his old girlfriend Laurel working as a cigarette girl. Just then, he gets a call from Pinky and learns he's been nominated for the Nobel.
Richard 'Teets' Savoy as Mike Maxwell - Thomas; Milton Berle as Guppy - Levy; Tony Bennett as Pinky - Flaherty; Doctor Al DeRogatis - Moranis; Elke Sommer as Jane Weidermeyer - O'Hara; Surgeon - Moranis; Laurel - O'Hara; Doctor Braino - Candy; Doctor Benjamin Spock - Moranis; DeForest Kelly (voice only) - Thomas; medical students, nurses, Nobel audience, diners - extras; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre "He's scary, he's chilling, he's a real count!" announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
11a SCTV Movie Of the Week: The Nobel Part 2
Pinky arrives back from Stockholm. Mike's worried that Jane will ruin his chances at winning the prize and asks Pinky to bump her off. Pinky drops the bomb that he married Jane and she died giving birth to Mike's baby. Mike is relieved.
Back at the Nobel ceremony, Bob Hope does a routine, Pinky delivers his final voiceover as the Nobel winner is announced. (Music - I Wanna Be Around by Frank Sinatra)
Richard 'Teets' Savoy as Mike Maxwell - Thomas; Tony Bennett as Pinky - Flaherty; Doctor Al Dirigatos - Moranis; Surgeon - Moranis; Laurel - O'Hara; Bob Hope - Thomas; Nobel audience - extras
4d Lola Wrap Part 5: Lola's Dressing Room 091
Lola wakes up in her dressing room; some tech guys are there to replace the 'tubes' in her monitor. Wizard of Oz conclusion.
Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bill Needle - Thomas; Cole Elliot Durning - Moranis; Juul's TV Repair - Juul Haalmeyer Dancers, Dick Blasucci; The Tubes: Fee Waybill, Roger Steen, Bill "Sputnik" Spooner, Prairie Prince, Michael Cotten, Vince Welnick, Rick Anderson
BUMPER "This is the SCTV Television Network, a wholly owned subsidiary of Caballero Satellite Systems." announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
Credits
The first Bob and Doug wraparound - they're looking for a topic. Beefed up with repeats. Ian Thomas is Dave Thomas' brother.
Additional Viewing: The David Susskind Show.
Syndication Note: Anne Murray Super Special and David Susskind Show were cut from syndication; Ian Thomas' song Pilot was edited
DVD Note: Max Lax and Shakespeare in the park have been swapped in the running order. The Canadian anthem as compiled by Bob and Doug (listen here) has been replaced with the GWN theme. Fantasy Island has been moved to the end of the show and its SCTV Afternoon Movie identifier has been removed. Finally, many bumpers have been shuffled.
OPENING
1 Commercial: Max Lax Coffee Laxative (R2)
Coffee laxative. Your guests will notice the difference.
Hostess - Martin; Guests - extras
2 Bob and Doug Wrap Part 1: Studio 093
Bob and Doug finish a show and the crew laughs at them. They run into Brian Johns in the hallway, and are impressed by his preparedness, topic-wise.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Brian Johns - Levy; Crew - Jaime Paul Rock, extras
BUMPER Promo: Fantasy Island announcer - Network 90 staff announcer
3 Promo: Harry Filth (R1)
Harry Filth is a man with a big gun who's not afraid to use it. (Note: sketch edited from Series 3)
Harry Filth - Candy; Captain - Flaherty; Cal - Ramis; Announcer - Flaherty; Bystanders - O'Hara, extras
4 Money Talks with Brian Johns: William Douglas (R3)
Brian interviews Mr Douglas at his fabulous Bel Air home. (Note: edited slightly in this version)
Brian Johns - Levy; William E. Douglas - Moranis; Millious the butler - Thomas
5 The Johnny La Rue Exercise Show (R1)
Johnny jogs on the spot, works out with the fridge door, eats a sandwich. (Note: closing credits cut from this version)
Johnny La Rue - John Candy; Announcer - Thomas
BUMPER Promo: Hats of the West "Hats of the West, where men were men and sheep were nervous, Sunday at two on SCTV." announcer - staff announcer
6 Promo: Shakespeare in the Park (R3)
Norman has problems with a punk in the audience.
Hamlet: Norman Gorman - Flaherty; soccer player - Peter Wugalter; audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer
2a Bob and Doug Wrap Part 2: Outside the Studio 093
Bob and Doug are out front when LaRue walks up. LaRue persuades them to go to a club that evening, and to wash and wax the limousine as usual.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy
7 The Heys of Our Lives (R2)
Hey, it's a soap opera.
Man - Flaherty; Woman - O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Mirthmakers announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Stay tuned for more of SCTV Network 90." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV Network/90. Nice name, eh?" announcer - staff announcer
8 SCTV Afternoon Movie: Fantasy Island Part 1 (R2)
Ricardo and Patoo welcome their guests to the island, including the lead singer and guitarist of Black Plasma who, like most rock stars, want to be comedians; Maria Schuulman, a violinist who wants adventure; and Lee Vanderbill, a bored and clumsy socialite who wants a return of glamour. Maria pays for her fantasy with a Stradivarius. Ricardo is quite brusque with the rock stars. And Ricardo treats Lady Vanderbill roughly, the way she likes it, as it turns out.
Later, Ricardo and Patoo observe the rock musicians, transformed into Hope and Crosby in a road picture, selling braziers in the king's harem.
Ricardo Montalban - Levy; Patoo - Candy; Rock Musicians - Flaherty, Thomas; Maria - Martin; Lady Vanderbill - O'Hara; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; harem girls - extras, including Mimi Kusick
BUMPER Promo: Mel's Rock Pile announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV, the only network with a four-letter name" announcer - staff announcer
8a SCTV Afternoon Movie: Fantasy Island Part 2 (R2)
At Rick's Cafe American, Maria (as Elsa) enters and talks to Sam. Everyone observes that she is, indeed living on the brink of danger. Elsa and Rick talk about old times. Hope and Crosby have given the Grand Vizier the slip and slip into the cafe, but Hope's been turned into a dog. Lady Vanderbill as Ginger Rogers does a number with Fred Astaire. The cops enter and bust the place. Hope rubs a lamp and Glenda the good witch of the North appears and transports Hope and Crosby back to Kansas. The rock musicians wake up and share their dream with their band, and conclude with a number (a disco version of "I Love Lucy"). (Note: the closing number is edited)
Ricardo Montalban - Levy; Patoo - Candy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Bing Crosby - Flaherty; Maria/Elsa - Martin; Vanderbill/Ginger Rogers - O'Hara; Fred Astaire - Claude Tessier; Bogart - Candy; Glenda - O'Hara; Margaret Hamilton - Martin; Chief of Police - Rosato; Rock musicians - Thomas, Flaherty with Candy, Levy, Flaherty, O'Hara, Martin; Sam - Joe Seely; patrons - extras; cops - extras
BUMPER Promo: SCTV News announcer - staff announcer
2b Bob and Doug Wrap Part 3: The Club 093
Bob and Doug are at the club with LaRue, and are joined by Johns, who is going to interview Ian Thomas later. Bob and Doug go for drinks, and two huge guys take their seats. Vic announces that the toilets are now unplugged. Ian Thomas does a song ("Hold On") at the end of which LaRue and Johns get into a fracas with the huge guys and get ejected from the club (by mounties).
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Brian Johns - Levy; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Ian Thomas - Ian Thomas; Crowd - extras
BUMPER Promo: David Susskind announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "This is SCTV. Channel 11 in Hamilton, cable 104 in Blawnox." announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER "Welcome back to more of SCTV Network 90" announcer - staff announcer
2c Bob and Doug Wrap Part 4: Backstage 093
Bob and Doug decide to steal Brian Johns' topic and go backstage to interview Ian Thomas. Thomas figures out that Bob and Doug are hosers. Turns out he's a hoser too.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Vic Hedges - Flaherty; Interviewer - O'Hara; Ian Thomas - Ian Thomas; chicks, hangers-on - extras
9 Promo: Anne Murray Super Special
Anne sings ("Snowbird", "You Needed Me"), pays tribute to Janis Joplin ("Piece Of My Heart"), tells a few jokes. She sings a duet with Rita Coolidge ('The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down'). "Dynamic, Sexy, Spellbinding, and Totally Unpredictable!"
Anne Murray - Martin; Rita Coolidge - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer
BUMPER Promo: The Fracases (clip features the Adamly couple from The Millionaire) announcer - staff announcer
10 PSA: Mental Illness (R2)
Seven warning signs that you may have mental illness.
Dom Strom - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer
11 Promo: David Susskind Show
Examining the ever-changing pop-culture business. "Whether self-help or the energy crisis, we cover everything on The David Susskind Show."
David Susskind - Moranis; Retailer - Candy; Promoter - Thomas; Marketer - O'Hara; Manufacturer - Levy
12 Commercial: LaRue Tachi Portable Quadraphonic System 140
Mr. Mambo has the ideal portable quadraphonic stereo system.
Mr Mambo - Candy; Guys with portable stereos - extras; announcer - Candy, extra
BUMPER Promo: Dialing for Dollars announcer - staff announcer
13 Great White North: Ian Thomas 093
Bob and Doug interview Ian Thomas. They show some video they shot the night before.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Ian Thomas - Ian Thomas
2d Bob and Doug Wrap Part 5: The Club 093
Bob and Doug shoot some video of Ian Thomas, to his displeasure. The band does a song ("Pilot"). Thomas then grabs the camera and turns the tables on Bob and Doug, who are on the Great White North set, right next door.
Bob McKenzie - Moranis; Doug McKenzie - Thomas; Ian Thomas - Ian Thomas
14 Signoff: The National Anthem (R3)
Mel sings the American anthem; it is followed by the Canadian anthem, as selected by Bob and Doug, a medley including Oh Canada, the GWN theme, Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell, Stompin' Tom, Maple Leaf Forever. Credit crawl.
Mel Torme - Moranis; announcer - staff announcer
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