PROGRAMS - THE SAMMY MAUDLIN SHOW

with Sammy Maudlin and William B Williams

The Sammy Maudlin Show

The People's Global Golden Choice Award-winning late night talk show, in the finest Sammy Davis Jr/Larry Sanders tradition. All the greats in the entertainment industry have appeared plugging their latest film, special, book, series, album, what have you. Home of classic moments from such luminaries as Bobby Bittman, Lorna Minelli, Lola Heatherton, and Bob Hope. Hosted by the great Sammy Maudlin, with the best second banana in the business, William B Williams. Scene of some of SCTV most inspired and memorable comedy moments.

1 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Lorna Minelli, Trish Nutly [1 - 4 (1)]

Sammy's guests are Lorna Minelli and Bobby Bittman. Trish Nutly, a young new star, is his next guest; she's disgusted and tells them what a bunch of phonies they all are.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Trish Nutly - O'Hara

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Kenneth Clark [1 - 21 (7)]

Joined in progress. William plugs his new book 'My Life With God'. Bobby Bittman walks on. He has outtakes from his new special.

Outtakes: The Salesman Sketch and The Breakfast Sketch

Bobby fires an actress and Chi Chi gets electrocuted.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Actress - O'Hara; Chi Chi (Charo) - Martin; crew - extras

Kenneth Clarke has some outtakes from his latest special.

Outtakes: The History of Intelligence

Sir Kenneth makes some gaffes.

Kenneth Clark - Ramis

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Kenneth Clark - Ramis; guest - Thomas

3 SCTV Solid Gold Telethon [2 - 4 (1)]

SCTV turns to public support for an entire show as Sammy hosts a telethon with an all-star celebrity cast. The goal is to have people send in their gold. Bobby and Johnny co-host.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Captain Combat - Thomas; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Steve Lawrence and Edie Gourmet - Thomas and O'Hara; Announcer - staff announcer; people on the phones - extras; poster child - extra

4 The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again [2 - 19 (1)]

Sammy's guest is Bobby Bittman, who is plugging his new film, a remake of the classic On the Waterfront, directed by Bobby. Bobby's co-stars Lola Heatherton and Lin Ye Tang also guest. The show is interspersed with clips from the movie.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

5 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China [3 - 11 (9)]

(Already in progress.) Bobby's routine, which was bombing anyway, is interrupted when Bob Hope makes a surprise walk on to plug his new special, "I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars".

Clip: Outtakes from I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars

Hope and his writers pitch some comedy ideas to the Chinese.

Bob Hope - Thomas; Hope's writer - Moranis; Chinese - extras;

Hope takes off, Bittman gets up to continue his routine, and Danny Thomas walks on.

Credits - Bittman calls to complain to Caballero

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Danny Thomas - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer; Shy girls - extras

6 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Drugs and Hollywood [4/1 - 2 (10)]

Joined already in progress, Lola performs New York, New York, and they discuss her problems with the press and her law suit. Bobby Bittman drops by with outtakes from a congressional hearing on drugs in Hollywood.

Outtakes: Congressional Hearing on Drugs in Hollywood

Congressmen - Thomas, Moranis, extras; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lawyer - extra; audience - extras

William B brings up Sammy's drug problem, and he's documented Sammy's drug years in a book.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

7 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Natalie Cole [4/2 - 3 (11)]

Joan Embry, from the zoo, is a bit hammered. There's some trouble with a tasmanian devil.

Sammy's next guest is Natalie Cole who performs a song ("Nothin' but a Fool") and plugs 'Different Folks', for which she's recorded the theme song. Then DeForest Kelly comes out with a clip from his newest film with Julia Child. Just before the clip comes on, a cabbage rolls onto the stage.

Clip: The Julia Child Story

DeForest has trouble saying 'cinnamon'.

Julia Child - Candy; DeForest Kelly as Henry Child - Thomas

When they return from the clip, everyone but DeForest are acting like zombies.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Joan Embry - O'Hara; DeForest Kelly - Thomas; Natalie Cole - Natalie Cole

8 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby and Skip Bittman [4/2 - 5 (5)]

(Already in progress) Bobby does a hokey number. They discuss family values. Bobby brings out his brother Skip, who does a routine that bombs. Skip and Bobby argue.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

9 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Neil Simon [4/2 - 7 (5)]

William and Sammy talk about Christmas, before bringing out their first guests, Neil Simon and his wife Marsha (who Sammy keeps calling Pamela), who have just finished their latest project, "Neil Simon's Nutcracker Suite", a name that really cracks Sammy and William up, unlike Simon's line about Jane Russell's cross your heart bra. While chatting, the Christmas tree catches fire.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Neil Simon - Thomas; Marsha (Pamela) Mason - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

10 Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven [4/3 - 2 (5)]

Sammy's called a summit meeting, to propose a heist. They're gonna get some of their old GI buddies to help them out, and one extra: Skip Bittman. Everyone gathers around the pool table at Sammy's to discuss the heist: Danny Thomas' dressing room at Desilu studios.

Bobby is in a real hip bar for an espresso. He does a swingin' number. The heist: Bill's ready at the hydro pole; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang are ready by the phone booth; Sammy's in his garbage man outfit; Bobby and William B are in the audience watching Skip's warm up act. At 8:30, Needle cuts the power; Sammy gets in the truck; Bobby and William B go to the dressing room, Skip heads to the car. But things go bad. Needle fries himself. Sammy can't start the truck and tries to bribe the officer. Skip decides to fill the tank and runs over the Harmonica Gang. William B and Bobby are caught by Danny Thomas, who does a spit take.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B William - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang - extras; bar patrons, audience - extras; Chicks - extras; hey, that looks a lot like the Wally Hung Trio working the Blue Angel: Drums (Ricky) - Moranis; Organ (Wally) - extra; Bass - extra; announcer - staff announcer; Beatniks - extras

11 People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 3 [4/3 - 3 (1)]

Anson Williams and Maureen Wallace present the first award, for best TV Talk Show, despite some carpentry work going on in the background. Nominees - The Tonite Show, The Phil Donohue Show and, the winner, The Sammy Maudlin Show.

Anson Williams - Moranis; Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B William - Candy; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Needle - extra; Elizabeth Taylor - O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; Dave Prock - Dave Prock; stage hands - extras; Bob Hope - Thomas; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

12 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs [4/3 - 6 (2)]

Bittman has to deal with a heckler (in a studio audience!). He then discusses his latest film, Chariots of Eggs, which he wrote and directed. He brings out the stars of Chariots of Eggs, Daryll Hall and John Oates ("Did It In a Minute").

Hall, Oates and Bittman discuss Chariots of Eggs.

Clip: Chariots of Eggs

A moving film with a helluva soundtrack about two guys racing against two women who are lesbians (I mean that in the good sense).

Coach - Thomas; Runners - Hall, Oates; Dutch Leonard - Martin; Holly - O'Hara

They bring out the two chicks from the film, Dutch Leonard and Holly Faun.

William B William - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Hall - Hall; Oates - Oates; Holly Faun - O'Hara; Dutch Leonard - Martin

13 The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary [5/4 - 1 (2)]

Paul Anka opens the show with a swingin' number in honor of Sammy. William B gives a heartwarming speech. They start with a clip from 1959.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1959

Lon Chaney Jr demonstrates rock throwing with a reluctant William B.

Lon Chaney Jr - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

William B is getting drunk. They bring out Lorna Minelli, who humiliates William B some more.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1973

Lorna Minelli is singing a song ("Ring them Bells") when a fly interrupts.

Lorna Minelli - Martin

They enjoy the clip so much, they show it again.

The next clip is from a few months back, when Bobby brought the show right down.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show a few months back

Bobby Bittman has news that war has broken out in the Falkland Islands. He sings a song for the brave Falklanders.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1971

Sammy's singing "The Weight" when an earthquake hits, and William B gets crushed by a prop.

Lorna's fallen asleep and William B, now quite wasted, saying he doesn't want to drag down the ratings any further, decides to leave the show but falls into the cake on the way out.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Paul Anka - Short

14 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Sandler and Young, Pavarotti [5/5 - 2 (8)]

Already in progress. Sandler and Young bring the show down. Sammy boots them off the show. Sammy brings out Pavarotti, who remarks on William B's absence (William B walked out on the last show), talks about his diet, his movie, and does a number ("right to the good stuff"). He falls through the floor.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Luciano Pavarotti - Candy; Tony Sandler - Levy; Ralph Young - Short

15 The William B. Show [5/5 - 3 (8)]

William B comes running out and falls into the camera, injuring his ankle. He explains why he's got his own show - he walked off Sammy Maudlin because he was bringing the ratings down. He does his monologue and bombs (his McLean Stevenson joke in particular).

William's first guest is Irving Cohen. Irving makes up a song on the spot based on William's name. William tries to bring out his other guests Eddie Arcaro and Tom Driessen, but they both left. However, Sammy Maudlin saves the show by making a surprise appearance. He gets Irving to tell a story. William B starts bawling and walks off of. Sammy takes off, leaving Irving to finish his story and sing a song he wrote for Al Jolsen.

William B William - Candy; Irving Cohen - Short; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; stage hands - extras; announcer - staff announcer

16 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Betty Thomas [5/5 - 5 (7)]

William B is back! And doing what he does best, which is be a second banana. Their first guest is Betty Thomas, who's brought a clip from her new movie.

South Sea Sinner

Wayne and Pierre arrive at Cognac's Bottom of the Barrel Club, where Paul Revere is doing a revue. Paul's a bit displeased. He mouthes off about Cognac, who arrives back unexpectedly from his vacation. Cognac goes up to see Coral. Coral is a woman who misbehaves, and Cognac is obsessed with her. Coral performs her song stylings to great applause. She joins Wayne and Paul at their table. Cognac spots her and punishes her. Wayne comes to her defence. Cognac gives him multiple slaps.

Wayne and Coral run along the beach. Cognac is spying on them. Cognac plans to have Wayne murdered - he tells Andelea, the serving girl, to hide in Coral's room and shoot Wayne when he enters. Later that evening, Cognac has a few too many Cognacs. He stumbles up to his room, but accidentally goes to Coral's room, and is shot by Andelea.

Coral - Betty Thomas; Cognac - Candy; Tony Sandler as Wayne Hathaway - Levy; Ralph Young as Pierre LePlume - Short; Paul Revere - Flaherty; Bartender - Hemphill; Andelea - Martin; police, bar patrons - extras

William B got the producer to play Betty's entire movie, so they've run out of time. Betty's a bit ticked. (Note: produced by Hudgie DeRobertis)

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Betty Thomas - Betty Thomas

17 Maudlin o' the Night [6 - 1 (10)]

Publicized with an aggressive anti-Carson promo campaign. Maudlin's show's got a hot new set and he comes out flying with a song and dance and a fresh new look.

Maudlin takes a hit of oxygen and talks about what the new show is all about, how he hopped on the change train, got a new set, and ditched William B. He introduces the Zanies: Suzloff, master of improvisation, Meltzer, McConachie, and Cole, the voice cracking intellectual. Suzloff does some improvisation of a sort. Sammy's first guest is Jennifer Beals, who has a clip from her new film Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Clip: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Jennifer Beals - Martin; Dramatic stand in, man - extras

Sammy's next guest is Kissinger, who's drunk and in a foul mood. He decks Suzloff and knocks over the new set. Sammy blames Silverman for the fiasco and apologizes to Johnny Carson.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Jennifer Beals - Martin; Henry Kissinger - Levy; Howie Suzloff - Short; Cole - Ron James; McConnachie - Debra McGrath; Meltzer - extra; Producer Freddy Silverman - extra; crew - extras

18 Promo: The Sammy Maudlin Show: Just For Kids [6 - 12 (8)]

Promo for a special 'just for kids'; either the actual sketch never aired, or this promo is the sketch and it was badly edited.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Happy Marsden - Hemphill; Mrs Falbo - Martin; Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; Toy guy - extra