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1 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Lorna Minelli, Trish Nutly

Joined already in progress. Lorna sings her mother's signature song. Bobby Bittman makes an impromptu appearance to plug his upcoming special. Sammy and Bobby trade compliments. Trish Nutly, a young new star, is Sammy's next guest; she's disgusted and tells them what a bunch of phonies they all are.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Trish Nutly - O'Hara; announcer - Thomas

7 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Kenneth Clark Part 1

Joined in progress, as Sammy finishes singing 'Taking a Chance on Love.' William plugs his new book 'My Life With God'. Bobby Bittman crashes the show with outtakes from his new special.

Outtakes: The Salesman Sketch and The Breakfast Sketch

Bobby fires an actress and Chi Chi gets electrocuted.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Actress - O'Hara; Chi Chi (Charo) - Martin; crew - extras

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy

7a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby Bittman, Kenneth Clark Part 2

Kenneth Clarke has some outtakes from his latest special.

Outtakes: The History of Intelligence

Sir Kenneth makes some gaffes.

Kenneth Clark - Ramis

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Kenneth Clark - Ramis; ignored guest - Thomas

1 SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 1

SCTV turns to public support as Sammy hosts a telethon encouraging people to send in their gold. Bobby and Johnny co-host. Bobby takes the audience to task for their middling reception, while Johnny offers a challenge to keep drinking heavily until they reach their goal. And they do a number.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer; people on the phones - extras

1a SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 2

Sammy thanks Bob Dylan for stopping by and checks the tote board. Sammy gives a speech and then has a chat with Lola and Captain Combat, who is encouraging kiddies to bring their parents gold down to the station. Steve and Edie do a number. LaRue and Bittman bring things down with the Solid Gold poster child.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Captain Combat - Thomas; Gunny Rabbit - Candy; Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme - Thomas and O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Howard, the poster child - extra; announcer - staff announcer

1b SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 3

Perini Scleroso helps out with the phones. Sammy checks the tote board and the results are disappointing. Bittman takes the audience to task again.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Perini Scleroso - Martin

1c SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 4

We rejoin the telethon already in progress, as Lorna Minelli finishes "Over the Rainbow". Johnny, now quite hammered, donates his weight in gold. They check the tote board and the goal is reached. Sammy, LaRue and Bobby do a closing number, and Sammy breaks down. The staff announcer thanks everyone who contributed; roll credits.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme - Thomas and O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

1 The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 1

Sammy and William B exchange compliments, Sammy welcomes Edith, who plugs Bobby Bittman's latest movie before rushing off.

Notes: One of the few that doesn't start 'already in progress'.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Edith Prickley - Martin

1a The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 2

Bobby Bittman plugs his latest film, which he directed, and shows a clip from the movie.

Clip: On the Waterfront Again

Terry and his girlfriend find his brother hanging from a stevedore's hook.

Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara

They are riveted by the performance. Sammy brings out Bobby's co-star, Lola Heatherton.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy

1b The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 3

Bobby Bittman shows another clip.

Clip: On the Waterfront Again

Charlie tries to convince Terry not to testify.

Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lin Ye Tang as Charlie - Thomas

Lin Ye Tang, the only man who could hang on a stevedore's hook and act the part of really being dead, comes out. Bobby quips that good acting does not have to take a back seat to race, creed or color. Sammy sums up by saying these three prove to us all that, if you apply yourself, anybody, no matter how bad, can act.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

2 Message From Prickley: The Sammy Maudlin Show

Prickley promotes Sammy Maudlin.

Edith Prickley - Martin; Announcer - staff announcer

9 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bob Hope in China

(Already in progress.) Bobby's routine, which was bombing anyway, is interrupted when Bob Hope makes a surprise walk on to plug his new special, "I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars". He brought some outtakes.

Outtakes: The Making of I Owe Peking 2000 Dollars

Hope and his writers pitch some jokes to the Chinese.

Bob Hope - Thomas; Hope's writers - Moranis, extras; Chinese - extras;

Hope takes off, Bittman gets up to continue his routine, and Danny Thomas walks on.

Credits - Bittman calls to complain to Caballero

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Danny Thomas - Rosato; Announcer - staff announcer; Shy girls - extras

10 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Drugs and Hollywood 140

Joined already in progress, Lola performs New York, New York, and they discuss her problems with the press and her law suit. Bobby Bittman drops by with out-takes from a congressional hearing on drugs in Hollywood.

Out-takes: Congressional Hearing on Drugs in Hollywood

Congressmen - Thomas, Moranis, extras; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lawyer - extra; audience - extras

William B brings up Sammy's drug problem, and he's documented Sammy's drug years in a book.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

11 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Natalie Cole Part 1 151

Joined in progress. Joan Embry, from the zoo, is a bit hammered. There's some trouble with a tasmanian devil.

Joan Embry - O'Hara; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; announcer - staff announcer

11a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Natalie Cole Part 2 151

Sammy's next guest is Natalie Cole who performs a song ("Nothin' but a Fool") and plugs 'Different Folks', for which she's recorded the theme song. Then DeForest Kelly comes out with a clip from his newest film with Julia Child. Just before the clip comes on, a cabbage rolls onto the stage.

Clip: The Julia Child Story

DeForest has trouble saying 'cinnamon'.

Julia Child - Candy; DeForest Kelly as Henry Child - Thomas

When they return from the clip, everyone but DeForest are acting like zombies.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; DeForest Kelly - Thomas; Natalie Cole - Natalie Cole

5 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Bobby and Skip Bittman 95

(Already in progress) Bobby is singing his unique version of "My Melody of Love." Sitting down at the panel, they discuss family values. Bobby introduces his brother Skip, who does a routine that bombs. Joining the panel, Skip starts getting on Bobby's nerves and they argue in (imperfect) Yiddish (translation courtesy James Gray):

Herschel (Bobby): Vos tutsu tzu mir? (What are you doing to me?)

Tzvi (Skip): Vos sich zehn mir? Gornisht! Verzogt tzu mir a tchainik!

"Vos sich zehn mir?" is a bad way of saying "What are you saying to me?" "Gornisht" means nothing. "Verzogt tzu mir a tchainik" literally means "You are talking to me a teapot." This may be a poor attempt at an old saying "Hak mir nicht in tchainik," which literally translates as "Don't bang on my teapot" and means "Don't get on my nerves" or "Don't drive me crazy." Skip is either saying "You are talking crazy at me" or "You're getting on my nerves" but it's not very good Yiddish.

Herschel: Gedenkst gevesen tzu bringen sie oyf dem Maudlin Show! (Not very good grammar, but essentially he is saying "Remember, it was me who brought you on the Maudlin Show!")

Tzvi: Ver vays fun Maudlin Show? Groisse Gedilleh! Phtooey! (Who cares about the Maudlin Show? Big deal! Phtooey!)

Herschel: Du vayst uz siiz network. Du machts gelach fun mir! (You know this is network. You're making fun of me!)

Tzvi: Du bist a nar! (You are a fool!)

After an uncomfortable pause, William B says some words about real families, and the brothers (briefly) make up.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Announcer - staff announcer

5 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Neil Simon Part 1 131

Sammy sings 'Here Come Santa Claus' from the top, but has to stop due to a coughing fit. After an interlude, Sammy promises to stop smoking one day. William and Sammy talk about Christmas, before bringing out their first guests, Neil Simon and his wife Marsha Mason (who Sammy keeps calling Pamela), who have just finished their latest project, "Neil Simon's Nutcracker Suite", a name that really cracks Sammy and William up, unlike Simon's line about Jane Russell's cross your heart bra.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Neil Simon - Thomas; (Pamela) Marsha Mason - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

5a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Neil Simon Part 2 131

Neil and Marsha set up an out-take from their new special, which was cut by the director.

Out-take: Neil Simon's Nutcracker Suite

Marsha Mason - Martin

While chatting, the Christmas tree catches fire.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Neil Simon - Thomas; (Pamela) Marsha Mason - Martin; crew - crew; announcer - staff announcer

5 SCTV Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven Part 1 133

Sammy has called a summit meeting to propose a heist. He suggests to William B and Bobby that they get some of their old GI buddies together to help them out, and one extra: Bobby's brother Skip.

Bill Needle (at the Blue Angel Burlesque Strip Tease, warming up the crowd for the main act, his wife Honey), Skip Bittman (doing the warm up act for Make Room for Daddy), and Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang are all summoned to Sammy's. Everyone gathers around the pool table at Sammy's to discuss the mark: Danny Thomas' dressing room at Desilu studios.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang - The Harmonicats; bar patrons; audience - extras; Chicks - extras; hey, that looks a lot like the Wally Hung Trio working the Blue Angel: Drums (Ricky) - Moranis; Organ (Wally) - Paul Flaherty; Bass - Dick Blasucci; announcer - staff announcer

5a SCTV Movie of the Week: Maudlin's Eleven Part 2 134

Bobby is in a real hip beatnik bar for an espresso. He sings a swingin' number about pulling a heist. The heist: Bill's ready at the hydro pole; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang are ready by the phone booth; Sammy's in his garbage man outfit; Bobby and William B are in the audience watching Skip's warm up act. At 8:30, Needle cuts the power; Sammy gets in the truck; Bobby and William B go to the dressing room, Skip heads to the car. But then things go bad.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Skip Bittman - Moranis; Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang - Harmonicats; cop - Jack Duffy; waitress - extra; Beatniks - extras; Chicks - extras; Danny Thomas - extra; Make Room For Daddy audience - extras

1b People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 3 155

Anson Williams and Maureen Wallace present the first award, for best TV Talk Show, despite some carpentry work going on in the background. Nominees - The Tonight Show, The Phil Donahue Show and, the winner, The Sammy Maudlin Show. In the crowd, Bill's wife Honey is tipsy and heads to the washroom. Backstage, LaRue humiliates Liz Taylor.

Elizabeth Taylor and Johnny LaRue present the award for best special effects. Nominees: Dragonslayer, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and, the winner, Zontar (the Glowing Cabbage Effect). Bob Hope calls the FBI (collect) to tell them the award show is a bit fishy...

Anson Williams - Moranis; Maureen Wallace - O'Hara; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Elizabeth Taylor - O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; Dave Prock - Dave Prock; stage hands - extras; Bob Hope - Thomas; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs Part 1 111

Joined in progress. Bittman has to deal with a heckler (in a studio audience!). He then discusses his latest film, Chariots of Eggs, which he wrote and directed. He brings out the stars of Chariots of Eggs, Daryl Hall and John Oates ("Did It In a Minute").

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Hall - Daryl Hall; Oates - John Oates; announcer - staff announcer

2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Chariots of Eggs Part 2 111

Hall, Oates and Bittman discuss Chariots of Eggs.

Clip: Chariots of Eggs

A skillful film with a helluva soundtrack about two guys racing against two women who are lesbians (I mean that in the good sense). (Featuring "Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis.)

Coach - Thomas; Runners - Daryl Hall, John Oates; Dutch Leonard - Martin; Holly Faun - O'Hara; race officials - extras

Sammy brings out the two chicks from the film, Dutch Leonard and Holly Faun, and discuss their controversial relationship in the film.

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Hall - Daryl Hall; Oates - John Oates; Holly Faun - O'Hara; Dutch Leonard - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 1 144

Paul Anka opens the show with a swingin' number ("My Way") in honor of Sammy. William B gives a heartwarming speech. They start with a clip from 1959.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1959

Lon Chaney Jr demonstrates rock throwing with a reluctant William B.

Lon Chaney Jr - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy has a good laugh at William B's expense.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Paul Anka - Short; Lorna Minelli - Martin

2 The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 1 continued144

William B is getting drunk. They bring out Lorna Minelli, who humiliates William B some more.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1973

Lorna Minelli is singing a song ("Ring them Bells") when a fly interrupts.

Lorna Minelli - Martin

Sammy and William B enjoy the clip so much, they show it again.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 2 144

The next clip is from a few months back, when Bobby brought the show right down.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show a few months back

Bobby Bittman has news that war has broken out in the Falkland Islands.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

2a The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 2 continued144

The clip from a few months back continues.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show a few months back

Bobby Bittman sings a song ("O Island In the Sun") for the brave Falklanders.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty

Sammy remarks on how bad that clip was.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

2b The Sammy Maudlin Show: 23rd Anniversary Part 3 144

Joined in progress.

Clip: The Sammy Maudlin Show 1971

Sammy's singing "The Weight" when an earthquake hits, and William B gets crushed by a prop.

Lorna's fallen asleep and William B, now quite wasted, saying he doesn't want to drag down the ratings any further, walks off the show and falls into the cake on the way out.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lorna Minelli - Martin

8 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Sandler and Young, Luciano Pavarotti 149

Joined in progress. Sandler and Young bring the show down with their act. Sammy boots them off the show and brings out Pavarotti, who remarks on William B's absence (William B walked out on the last show), talks about his diet, his movie, and does a number ("right to the good stuff"). He falls through the floor.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Luciano Pavarotti - Candy; Tony Sandler - Short; Ralph Young - Levy; announcer - staff announcer

6 People and Things: Retirement 154

A look at retirement, and, specifically that of funny man Bobby Bittman. First, an overview of his career (Bittman montage: Goodbye America, The Sammy Maudlin Show monologue, Solid Gold Telethon, On the Waterfront Again, Funny Stuff, Dick Cavett Show).

Interview: Bobby Bittman at his Idaho Farm

Angela interviews Bittman at the isolated farm in Idaho that he has retired to.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Angela King-Fisher - Wilcox

Some final comments and discussion.

Martin Davis - Candy; Angela King-Fisher - Wilcox

8 The William B. Show Part 1 153

William B comes running out and falls into the camera, injuring his ankle. He explains why he's got his own show - he walked off Sammy Maudlin because he was bringing the ratings down. He does his monologue and bombs (his McLean Stevenson joke in particular).

William B Williams - Candy; announcer - staff announcer; crew, heckler - extras

8a The William B. Show Part 2 153

William's first guest is Irving Cohen. Irving makes up a song on the spot based on William's name. William tries to bring out his other guests Eddie Arcaro and Tom Driessen, but they both left. However, Sammy Maudlin saves the show by making a surprise appearance. He gets Irving to tell a story. William B starts bawling and walks off his own show. Sammy takes off, leaving Irving to finish his story and sing a song he wrote for Al Jolsen.

William B Williams - Candy; Irving Cohen - Short; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; stage hands - extras; announcer - staff announcer

7 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Betty Thomas Part 1 158

William B is back! And doing what he does best, which is be a second banana. Their first guest is Betty Thomas, who's brought a clip from her new movie.

8 South Sea Sinner Part 1 158

Wayne and Pierre arrive at Cognac's Bottom of the Barrel Club, where Paul Revere is doing a revue. Paul's a bit displeased. He mouthes off about Cognac, who arrives back unexpectedly from his vacation. Cognac goes up to see Coral. Coral is a woman who misbehaves, and Cognac is obsessed with her. Coral performs her song stylings to great applause. She joins Wayne and Paul at their table. Cognac spots her and punishes her. Wayne comes to her defense. Cognac gives him multiple slaps.

Coral - Betty Thomas; Cognac - Candy; Tony Sandler as Pierre LePlume - Short; Ralph Young as Wayne Hathaway - Levy; Paul Revere - Flaherty; Bartender - Hemphill; Andelea - Martin; Stuart Granger, Billy Carter, George McGovern, Bani Sadr, drifters - extras

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Betty Thomas - Betty Thomas

7a The Sammy Maudlin Show: Betty Thomas Part 2 158

South Sea Sinner continues.

8a South Sea Sinner Part 2 158

Wayne and Coral run along the beach. Cognac is spying on them. Cognac plans to have Wayne murdered - he tells Andelea, the serving girl, to hide in Coral's room and shoot Wayne when he enters. Later that evening, Cognac has a few too many Cognacs and stumbles up to Coral's room by accident.

Coral - Betty Thomas; Cognac - Candy; Tony Sandler as Pierre LePlume - Short; Ralph Young as Wayne Hathaway - Levy; Paul Revere - Flaherty; Bartender - Hemphill; Andelea - Martin; police - extras; Stuart Granger, Billy Carter, drifters - extras

William B got the producer to play Betty's entire movie, so they've run out of time. Betty's a bit ticked. (Note: produced by Hudgie DeRubertis)

William B Williams - Candy; Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Betty Thomas - Betty Thomas

10 Maudlin o' the Night Part 1 181

Maudlin's show's got a hot new set and he comes out flying with a song and dance and a fresh new look.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

10a Maudlin o' the Night Part 2 181

Maudlin takes a hit of oxygen and talks about what the new show is all about, how he hopped on the change train, got a new set, and ditched William B. He introduces the Zanies: Soozloff, master of improvisation, Meltzer, McConnachie, and Cole, the voice cracking intellectual. Suzloff does some improvisation of a sort. Sammy's first guest is Jennifer Beals, who has a clip from her new film Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Clip: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Jennifer Beals - Martin; Dramatic stand in, man - extras

Sammy's next guest is Kissinger, who's drunk and in a foul mood. He decks Suzloff and knocks over the new set. Sammy blames Silverman for the fiasco and apologizes to Johnny Carson.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Jennifer Beals - Martin; Henry Kissinger - Levy; Howie Soozloff - Short; Cole - Ron James; McConnachie - Debra McGrath; Meltzer - extra; Producer Freddy Silverman - extra; crew - extras

6 Promo: Humanity The Final Days/Bobby Bittman: My Wacky World 176

A monumental two-hour documentary and Bobby Bittman's Wacky World, back to back. Clips of Bobby Bittman, Jackie Rogers Jr, Lorna Minelli and Sammy Maudlin from previous sketches.

Announcer - staff announcer

8 Promo: The Sammy Maudlin Show: Just For Kids 168

Clips from Sammy's next show, with guests Mrs Falbo, Happy Marsden, and that guy from the CBC. (A very odd promo; either the actual sketch was dropped from later shows, or this promo is the sketch but was badly edited, because it doesn't make any sense as a sketch itself.)

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Happy Marsden - Hemphill; Mrs Falbo - Martin; Lionel Napier-Humphries - Short; Toy guy - John McAndrew; announcer - staff announcer

4 Pledge Week Promo: Music, Sitcoms, and Late Night

"We've got it all." Clips from The Ramblers, We Got A Maid, Maudlin O the Night. Sammy Maudlin 'Be there' - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer