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3 Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert

The beautiful, dynamic, multi talented Lola in concert this Saturday. ("So Glad to Be Here," "You Light Up My Life") "I want to bear all your children!"

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dancers - Flaherty, Levy, Thomas; announcer - Levy

6 Bob Hope Desert Classic

Bob and Lou host this star-studded golfing event. Begin has a bad lie, and argues with Arafat. King Fahud shows Lola how to hold her putter. Charlton Heston helps Golda chip through a pipeline. Arafat occupies the 12th hole, while Begin takes the 13th fairway. Lou gets lost off the 18th hole.

Lou Jaffe - Levy; Bob Hope - Thomas; Menachim Begin - Flaherty; Yasser Arafat - Levy; King Fahud - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Jack Nicklaus - Candy; Cheap bogie - Flaherty; Golda Meir - Martin; Charlton Heston - Flaherty; Richard Nixon - Flaherty; American businessman - Candy; Announcer - Candy; miscellaneous Arabs - extras

1a SCTV Solid Gold Telethon Part 2

Sammy thanks Bob Dylan for stopping by and checks the tote board. Sammy gives a speech and then has a chat with Lola and Captain Combat, who is encouraging kiddies to bring their parents gold down to the station. Steve and Edie do a number. LaRue and Bittman bring things down with the Solid Gold poster child.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Captain Combat - Thomas; Gunny Rabbit - Candy; Steve Lawrence and Edie Gorme - Thomas and O'Hara; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Howard, the poster child - extra; announcer - staff announcer

1 SCTV 30th Anniversary Show Part 1

The evening's hosts are introduced, and Earl and Floyd start things off by introducing an excerpt from a 1952 hearing featuring Earl's dad.

1952 Hearing on Un-American Activities

Earl's dad rats on his grandmother.

Merle Camembert - Levy; Congressmen - Thomas, Candy; Merle's Lawyer - extra; Audience - extras

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer
Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Cheryl Kinsey - Martin;

1b SCTV 30th Anniversary Show Part 3

Cheryl Kinsey and Lola Heatherton introduce the classic panel show "What's My Shoesize?".

What's My Shoesize?

Panelists fail to guess the shoesize of contestant Barry Stubing (size 16)

Dorothy Kilgallen ('Kilpatrick') - O'Hara; Bennett Cerf ('Cerb') - Thomas; Arlene Francis ('Franklin') - Martin; Kirk Douglas ('Dugglis') - Flaherty; Host: John Charles Daly ('Bailey') - Levy; Contestant: Barry Stubing - Candy; Announcer - staff announcer

Conclusion.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dr Kinsey - Martin

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Announcer ("John Speakers") - staff announcer

6 PSA: Stop Smoking

Lola makes a less than successful pitch to get people to stop smoking.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara

1a The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 2

Bobby Bittman plugs his latest film, which he directed, and shows a clip from the movie.

Clip: On the Waterfront Again

Terry and his girlfriend find his brother hanging from a stevedore's hook.

Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara

They are riveted by the performance. Sammy brings out Bobby's co-star, Lola Heatherton.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy

1b The Sammy Maudlin Show: On the Waterfront Again Part 3

Bobby Bittman shows another clip.

Clip: On the Waterfront Again

Charlie tries to convince Terry not to testify.

Bobby Bittman as Terry - Levy; Lin Ye Tang as Charlie - Thomas

Lin Ye Tang, the only man who could hang on a stevedore's hook and act the part of really being dead, comes out. Bobby quips that good acting does not have to take a back seat to race, creed or color. Sammy sums up by saying these three prove to us all that, if you apply yourself, anybody, no matter how bad, can act.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lin Ye Tang - Thomas

5 Family Crisis

Johnny introduces Chrissy, who has a husband that beats her. First up, Colonel Sanders asks her whether her family likes chicken and advises her to pay more attention to her family. Lola asks if her husband beats her in bed, and when Chrissy replies yes, she advises her to ship the kids off to the YMCA for a few months and turn their house into a pleasure palace. Bobby suggests Chrissy watch Bobby's next special, "Bobby Bittman looks at Marriage...from a distance." The studio audience likes Bobby's advice best.

Host: Johnny LaRue - Candy; Panelists: Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Colonel Sanders - Thomas; Contestant: Chrissy Steiner - Martin; studio audience - extras; announcer - staff announcer

10 The Sammy Maudlin Show: Drugs and Hollywood 140

Joined already in progress, Lola performs New York, New York, and they discuss her problems with the press and her law suit. Bobby Bittman drops by with out-takes from a congressional hearing on drugs in Hollywood.

Out-takes: Congressional Hearing on Drugs in Hollywood

Congressmen - Thomas, Moranis, extras; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lawyer - extra; audience - extras

William B brings up Sammy's drug problem, and he's documented Sammy's drug years in a book.

Sammy Maudlin - Flaherty; William B Williams - Candy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

1c Pledge Week Part 4: Count Floyd and Lola Heatherton

We return to Pledge Week as Lola finishes a dramatic reading of Neil Simon's The Out of Towners. The whole play. Lola makes a challenge - anyone who donates 5,000 dollars, she will bear his child. They get a call.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Count Floyd - Flaherty; phone volunteers - extras

2 Wrong Side Of the Bed with Bill Needle 90

Bill's new show is a morning show - Bill Needle-style: no fake cheeriness, and he'll get it over with as painlessly as possible. His first guest is Lola, who shows up a little late and a little wasted. Bill chews her out for taking pills on a family show and she walks.

Host: Bill Needle - Thomas; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Crew - extra; announcer - Network 90 announcer

4 Lola Wrap Part 1: Lola's Dressing Room 90

Guy cancels Lola's special, just like he cancelled their love. Lola is distraught, while Guy has a flashback to him and Lola running/wheeling across green fields...

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Guy Caballero - Flaherty

8 SCTV News: Lola obituary 91

Earl interrupts Floyd with a bulletin: Lola Heatherton is dead, by her own hand, because she was distraught at the cancellation of her special. He gives a stirring career retrospective. Floyd interrupts him to announce that Lola is in fact still alive.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

10 Bouncin' Back to You Part 1 91

Lola is wasted; she dismisses the dancers and sings a special song for Guy. She bad mouths all her ex-lovers, including Bobby 'How was I' Bittman, Johnny 'Why don't you just suffocate me' LaRue and Count Floyd 'You're so bad it's scary'. She is hauled off. (The music is Henry Mancini's "Soldier in the Rain".)

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Levy, Dick Blasucci, extras; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer

4d Lola Wrap Part 5: Lola's Dressing Room 91

Lola wakes up in her dressing room; some tech guys are there to replace the 'tubes' in her monitor. Wizard of Oz conclusion.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Earl Camembert - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy; Bill Needle - Thomas; Cole Elliot Durning - Moranis; Juul's TV Repair - Juul Haalmeyer Dancers, Dick Blasucci; The Tubes: Fee Waybill, Roger Steen, Bill "Sputnik" Spooner, Prairie Prince, Michael Cotten, Vince Welnick, Rick Anderson

5 Promo: Way to Go, Woman!: Mother Theresa 102

Lola's series on influential women. This week, Lola has an insightful interview with Mother Theresa and roughs it in India.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; announcer - Thomas; various poor people - extras

2a SCTV Staff Party Part 2 132

Some more vignettes: Tex finishing off an epic song to general indifference; Edith and Lola talking about old movies; Brian Johns at the bar. Tex gives Gerry a steadycam. Tongue gets a dog from Norman and shows him a 3D effect. Gerry Todd slips on a banana peel and smashes his steady cam. Edith trades barbs with Nikki, the butch bartender; Tang arrives and Nikki takes a long drag off of his joint. As a result, Tang convinces her to come with him to the Doorway to Hell set. Norman Gorman's running a hot dog stand - he asks Bittman what the hell "How Are Ya!" supposed to be. Bittman responds: "It's a signature!"

Gerry Todd - Moranis; Tex Boil - Thomas; Edna Boil - Moranis; Edith Prickley - Martin; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Nikki - O'Hara; Brian Johns - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Norman Gorman - Flaherty; Bobby Bittman - Levy; miscellaneous staff - extras

2b SCTV Staff Party Part 3 132

Tang and Nikki leave the Doorway to Hell set. Gerry gets a Christmas message from Camembert. Tongue tries to get Lola to do a 3D musical script he wrote.

Lin Ye Tang - Thomas; Nikki - O'Hara; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Earl Camembert - Levy; Gerry Todd - Moranis; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Dr Tongue - Candy; miscellaneous staff - extras

2c SCTV Staff Party Part 4 132

Caballero and Needle discuss syndication, and are filmed by Gerry Todd, who's also intrigued by the concept... They laugh maniacally for a bit. Guy gets a Christmas bomb from Big Jim and Billy Sol. Lola does a song ("White Christmas") and they all join in for a final crane shot, courtesy of LaRue.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Bill Needle - Thomas; Gerry Todd - Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Edith Prickley - Martin; Dr Tongue - Candy; Earl Camembert - Levy; Johnny LaRue - Candy

7 Way to Go, Woman!: Mother Theresa (R4) 125

Lola's show is interrupted by the Bob and Doug special promo.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Mother Theresa - Martin; announcer - staff announcer

4b Bob and Doug Wrap Part 3: Guy's Office 125

Guy is talking to Tony Bennett (while Way to Go Woman continues on the monitor). Lola comes in to chew Guy out for ruining her show. Guy says it was a rerun anyway, and he's been taking a lot of heat for reruns lately.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Tony Bennett - himself

1 People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 1 155

Special presentation of SCTV and the National Midnight Star. Guests arrive. Lola and Lorna start the show with a high energy number (music: Series 2 and 3 theme song) featuring the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Lorna Minelli - Martin; Dr Tongue - Candy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Pierre Trudeau - Short; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; The Fonz, Michelle and Bum Phillips - extras; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Dick Blasucci, Doug Steckler, Bob Dolman, extras; crowd - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

1d People's Global Golden Choice Awards Part 5 156

We rejoin the awards as Gerry Todd walks off with a clean sweep of technical awards. Backstage, Bill's looking for his wife. He finds her in the men's washroom with Trudeau.

On stage, the Fonz and Lola Heatherton present the award for best foreign personality to Perini Scleroso. Backstage, the FBI arrives to talk to Caballero.

On stage, Jack Klugman and Herve Villechaize present the award for best performance in a dramatic series. Rawl makes a quick change to throw the FBI off the scent. The winner is Hill Street Blues (instead of Vikings and Beekeepers). The Hill Street Blues cast tramples Herve.

Gerry Todd - Moranis; Bill Needle - Thomas; Honey Pie Traynor - extra; Pierre Trudeau - extra; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; The Fonz - extra; Perini Scleroso - Martin; Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Rawl Withers - Levy; outraged man - Moranis; Inspector McDonald - Moranis; Inspector Cashen - Thomas; Herve Villechaize - Candy; Jack Klugman as Quincy - Flaherty; crowd, Hill Street Blues cast - extras; Announcer - staff announcer

7 Message from Guy: CBC 142

Guy announces that SCTV will pick up the CBC feed from Canada.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Lola Heatherton (off-camera) - O'Hara; announcer - staff announcer

3 Promo: Lola Heatherton's The Love Spirit 129

Lola's got a great new special with Juul Haalmeyer. They look at love past.

Clip: Christmas Meets Lola 1965

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - himself; dancer - Short

They look at love's present, and think about love's future. And what do you know, this is Lola's first Christmas in love...with Juul!

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - himself; The Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Short, Bob Dolman, Doug Steckler, Chris, extras

2c LaRue Wrap Part 4: Caballero's Bedroom

Gus arrives to tell Caballero that LaRue has disappeared. Prickley and Grimley also show up, worried about LaRue. Then Lola and Juul show up, also worried about LaRue. The light passes through the room. Johnny runs in. A Christmas Carol ending.

Guy Caballero - Flaherty; Gus Gustofferson - Levy; Edith Prickley - Martin; Ed Grimley - Short; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer - Juul Haalmeyer; Johnny LaRue - Candy; butler - extra

2a Pledge Week Part 2

Bobby and Jackie do some schtick for the cause. They introduce Lola Heatherton. She discusses her recent stint at the Betty Ford institute. Lola sings a number about this man's world, and she sings it for herself, mostly. A bit of anger surfaces.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Jackie Rogers Jr - Short; Lola Heatherton - O'Hara

3a Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 2

Steve discusses music and politics with the Professor over dinner. They have some problems with the waitress.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Waitress - Martin; The Professor - Levy