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7 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman

'With Floyd Robertson as Count Floyd.' Tonight's thriller is Madame Blitzman.

8 Movie: Madame Blitzman

As Madame Blitzman receives an award from the academy, she looks back on her career.

She met her husband at one of his lectures, where his theories weren't received very well. They married and worked as a team.

Madame Blitzman - Martin; Venerable Electric man - Thomas; Milos Hatrick - Ramis; Other Members of the Academy - Thomas, Ramis, Flaherty, extras; Louis Blitzman - Levy

Floyd goes to a commercial.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

7a Monster Chiller Horror Theater: Madame Blitzman Part 2

Madame Blitzman continues.

8a Movie: Madame Blitzman Part 2

Under increasing pressure from the Academy (Milos in particular) Madame Blitzman works to cure her husband, but her discovery comes too late.

Madame Blitzman - Martin; Venerable Electric man - Thomas; Milos Hatrick - Ramis; Other Members of the Academy - Thomas, Ramis, Flaherty, extras; Louis Blitzman - Levy

Floyd apologizes for the film, and promises a better one next week.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

8 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax

Floyd's got a seriously scary feature this week, in 3D.

Clip: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Wax

People have gone missing, and a girl finds out why while visiting the local wax museum. (Note: No 3D music)

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Shop Owner - Thomas; Woman - Martin; Wax figures - O'Hara, Ramis

The Count flogs 3D glasses for 18 bucks.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

1 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The House of Cats

Floyd shows some clips from the three-dimensional semi-classic. Floyd is selling the 3D glasses for 27 bucks.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Cats

Dr Tongue transforms women into cats. (The 3D technique is not quite perfected at this point.)

Woody tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Alicia - O'Hara

Count Floyd - Flaherty

6 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf

Floyd presents Whispers of the Wolf.

Ingmar Bergman's Whispers of the Wolf

Stockholm 1966. Two sisters are depressed and have difficulty dealing with reality.

Desk Clerk - Levy; Sisters - O'Hara, Martin; Midget - extra

Floyd's a bit stunned, but gamely tries to convince us it was scary. He suspects Prickley booked Bergman.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

2 Teaser: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel

Floyd plugs Death Motel.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

7 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel

Floyd introduces the film and plugs his 3D glasses (15.95, certified cheques only).

8 Death Motel Part 1

Young newlyweds arrive at the motel, where Bruno is the bell boy. As they get ready for bed they are being watched... Notes: the classic 3D sound effect!

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Martin; Motel Manager - Rosato

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Announcer - staff announcer

7a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Death Motel Part 2

Straight back to the movie.

8a Death Motel Part 2

Bruno arrives to turn down the bed and terrorizes the wife in the process. The husband goes for the manager, leaving Bruno with her.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Husband - Thomas; Wife - Martin

Count Floyd's guest is Woody Tobias Jr. They discuss Woody's father and his early career.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

5 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The Odd Couple 147

Floyd plugs this week's film, The Odd Couple, where there's a neat guy and a messy guy...who drinks blood!

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage Hands - extras, Wally (Soccer Player)

2 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Georgy Girl

Count Floyd plugs Georgy Girl, and a set falls over.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

6 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dick Cavett

Floyd hasn't seen the schedule, but assures us it's scary.

7 Dick Cavett: Bobby Bittman

Dick interviews Bobby Bittman, who plugs his book, The Complete Filmmaker, and has outtakes from the movie he just directed, Funny Stuff.

Outtakes: Funny Stuff

Bobby directs a young actress.

Bobby Bittman - Levy; Patti Donner - Martin; crew - extras

Bittman, unimpressed with Cavett's attitude, walks off.

Dick Cavett - Moranis; Bobby Bittman - Levy; Announcer - staff announcer

Count Floyd tries to convince us Dick Cavett is scary.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Wally and Wilma voice overs - extras

13 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses 81

Floyd shows some clips from the House of Stewardesses. (Floyd is flogging the glasses for 18 bucks plus 3 bucks for handling).

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses

Dr Tongue orders Bruno to get him a human body. The doorbell rings. Some stewardesses. Their car has broken down.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras

Floyd insists on seeing more clips.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Stewardesses

Dr Tongue's plans have worked...almost too well.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; Lily - O'Hara; Stewardesses - extras

Floyd's glasses are fogged up.

Count Floyd - Flaherty

18 SCTV News: Floyd's rehab 112

Sponsored by Rolling Hills. Earl welcomes Floyd back. Items: Commies come out to Melonville May Day parade. Con man bilks Daughters of American Revolution. Johnny LaRue's car was blown up by protesters against his series "Johnnie's Angels." Earl gives an editorial about Guts, the kind of guts it took for Floyd ('known to millions of kids as Count Floyd') to beat his drinking problem. Floyd takes off.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; Johnny LaRue - Candy; announcer - staff announcer

1c Pledge Week Part 4: Count Floyd and Lola Heatherton

We return to Pledge Week as Lola finishes a dramatic reading of Neil Simon's The Out of Towners. The whole play. Lola makes a challenge - anyone who donates 5,000 dollars, she will bear his child. They get a call.

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Count Floyd - Flaherty; phone volunteers - extras

10 Bouncin' Back to You Part 1 91

Lola is wasted; she dismisses the dancers and sings a special song for Guy. She bad mouths all her ex-lovers, including Bobby 'How was I' Bittman, Johnny 'Why don't you just suffocate me' LaRue and Count Floyd 'You're so bad it's scary'. She is hauled off. (The music is Henry Mancini's "Soldier in the Rain".)

Lola Heatherton - O'Hara; Juul Haalmeyer Dancers - Juul Haalmeyer, Levy, Dick Blasucci, extras; crew - extras; announcer - staff announcer

5 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Slinky...Toy from Hell 141

Floyd's plugs this Saturday's film, Slinky...Toy From Hell

Clip: Slinky...Toy From Hell

Girl - Martin; Slinky - itself; announcer - staff announcer

Floyd's picking football teams with the crew.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; crew - extra

5 SCTV Special Presentation: 3-D House of Beef Part 1 148

The only place in town with 3D entertainment and an excellent cut of beef. Dr Tongue welcomes us. We enter and sign the guest book. Dr Tongue takes us to a table and shows us the menu. He calls the waiter Bruno to take our order. Bruno explains he's not just a lackey. Dr Tongue introduces Count Floyd, who will host the evening. Floyd tries to move some 3D glasses for 26 bucks and introduces The Polyesters (opening act).

In the kitchen, Floyd, Tongue and Bruno argue. The Polyesters are bombing, so they get James Ingram out of his air-conditioned dressing room.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Count Floyd - Flaherty; diners - extras; Gerbil - extra; Polyesters - Juul Haalmeyer, Moranis, O'Hara, Blasucci, extra; James Ingram - James Ingram; announcer - staff announcer

5a SCTV Special Presentation: 3-D House of Beef Part 2 148

Floyd kicks the Polyesters off stage. James Ingram performs 'Just Once'. James refuses to play another and goes after Tongue for his money. A Johnny LaRue Production.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Count Floyd - Flaherty; diners - extras; announcer - staff announcer; Polyesters - Juul Haalmeyer, Moranis, O'Hara, extras; James Ingram - James Ingram

1 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Dr. Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes 159

Count Floyd shows a clip of Dr Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes. He's not particularly scared, so he shows another clip.

Clip: Dr Tongue's Evil House of Pancakes

Dr Tongue offers pancakes and syrup.

Dr Tongue - Candy

Count Floyd - Flaherty

11 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Blood-Sucking Monkeys 95

Floyd's ready to show "Blood-Sucking Monkeys from West Mifflin Pennsylvania", but is informed they don't have the film. So Floyd tells the story.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage Hand - extra

8 The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart Part 1 118

Count Floyd takes a behind the scenes look at Francis Ford Coppola's remake of his own One From the Heart.

Clip: 3D Stake From the Heart

Dr Tongue has plans for his nymphette.

Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Dr Tongue - Candy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara

We see Coppola working with his cast, Gilda, Tongue and Woody, and signing checks. Floyd interviews Coppola, and sits in on an investor's meeting, where Coppola pitches his open-air 3D extravaganza concept. We see Mona Melman's imaginative and inexpensive costume designs.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Francis Ford Coppola - Moranis; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Gilda Radner - O'Hara; Investors - extras; Mona Melman - Martin

8a The Making of 3D Stake from the Heart Part 2 118

The behind the scenes look continues with another film clip.

Clip: 3D Stake From the Heart

Villagers have some questions before storming Tongue's castle.

Robert Duvall - Thomas; torch-bearing mob - Flaherty, Candy, extras

Floyd interviews Tongue and Woody in their trailer. Coppola hustles his film on the street.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Francis Ford Coppola - Moranis; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; people on the street - extras; crew - extras

11 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: 3D House of Slavechicks 109

Count Floyd introduces the miracle of Smell-O-Rama - smell the perfume and the flavored lip gloss - and shows clips from the feature.

Clip: Dr Tongue's 3D House of Slavechicks

Dr Tongue has sent invitations and a single flower to every good looking chick in the village. The barbecue goes quite well, with only a minor glitch courtesy of Bruno.

Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy; slavechicks - extras

Floyd flogs his 3D Smell-O-Rama cans (19.95).

Count Floyd - Flaherty

7 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Four For Texas 145

Once again, Floyd's film hasn't come in, so he's stuck boosting "Four For Texas" by the Rat Pack.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Crew - Dick Blasucci

6 Promo: Count Floyd's Scary Little Christmas 130

Floyd's going to tell scary stories, and will be joined by his guests Lucille Ball ("Christmas"), the Kid from Deliverance (banjo solo), and making their singing debut (Awoooo!), NFL Player's Association representatives Ed Garvey and Gene Upshaw ("Bring Back that Loving Feeling"). They have a roundtable discussion about about football player salaries.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Lucille Ball - O'Hara; The Kid from Deliverance - Short; Ed Garvey - Levy; Gene Upshaw - Gene Mack; kids - Kathleen and Matthew Wallace, Gudrun Flaherty, extras

4 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Tip O'Neill's 3D House of Representatives 128

Floyd's got another winner.

Clips: Tip O'Neill's 3D House of Representatives

Tip urges us to sign a bill.

Tip O'Neill - Candy

Floyd tries to convince us that was scary ("You don't think that's scary? That bill could become law!").

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Stage hand - extra

5 3D Firing Line: Midnight Cowboy II 135

Floyd introduces some clips from today's topic, Midnight Cowboy II.

Clips: Midnight Cowboy II

Enrico and Joe meet in a bar. Joe agrees to lets Enrico become his manager. They walk the streets of Toronto, trying to hustle. Back at the apartment they argue some more because Joe hasn't scored.

Woody Tobias Jr as Enrico Ritzo - Levy; Dr Tongue as Joe Buck - Candy

Count Floyd's guests have a roundtable discussion about the picture. Pauline trashes it, Tongue and Woody argue about it. Floyd then turns the discussion over to the guest moderator, The Pittsburgh Midget. Note: accommodations provided by The Driftwood Inn.

Host: Count Floyd - Flaherty; Dr Tongue - Candy; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Pauline Kael - Wilcox; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

9 Scary Previews 161

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr have a new show where they review scary films. First up is a remake of Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde starring Scott Baio.

Clip: Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde

Scott transforms from Jeckyl into Hyde sans make-up.

Scott Baio - Short

They both vote no on that one. Second is a sequel to Cujo, Cujo II.

Clip: Cujo II

A man is pursued by a raving housewife.

Man - Thomas; Woman - Valri Bromfield

They both recommend Cujo II. Bruno's pick for Stiff of the Week is The Night of Living Dangerously. Floyd's pick is Woody's own Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue, in 3D.

Clip: The Mysterious Disappearance of Dr Tongue

Bruno searches for Dr Tongue.

Woody Tobias Jr as Bruno - Levy

Floyd asks why Woody did the film. Woody claims he was trying to be existential.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy

4 Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Modern Problems 167

The Count has a co-host, the Pittsburgh Midget, who's brought Modern Problems (Mars Needs Women was held up at customs). 3D glasses are only 5.95.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

5 Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday the 13^th Part 1

The Pittsburgh midget has rented a VHS tape for the show. They start the tape. It's a first person perspective of a maniac terrorizing a local tv station. At first, Floyd's excited about finally showing a scary film. However, he starts to get fed up with the POV thing and starts fast forwarding through the film.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

5a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Halloween Always Falls on Friday the 13^th Part 2

They've fast forwarded to the end of the film.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Steve, The Pittsburgh Midget - Paul Flaherty

6 SCTV News: Earl Retires 184

Floyd is late getting back from a taping of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. Earl announces his retirement - he's going to lend his name to a line of clothing. Floyd arrives, causing a bit of a ruckus - he's loaded.

Floyd and Earl read the news. Floyd explains his tardiness - Jim the sound man is leaving MCHT. Floyd gives a stirring farewell speech - to Jim the sound man, and heads off to the party at the Driftwood.

Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson / Count Floyd - Flaherty; announcer - staff announcer

2c Pledge Week Part 4

The Count and Woody critique the film. Woody acts as devil's advocate. They're offering an album by Ed Grimley for pledges over 60 dollars. Ed shows his concept album "Did She Call?". He sings a bit of the title track.

Count Floyd - Flaherty; Woody Tobias Jr - Levy; Ed Grimley - Short

3c Movie: The Steve Bashekis Story Part 4

Steve, the waitress and Dicky go to dinner to try to get her to bank roll them. But she's broke. Steve goes and discusses his campaign with the Professor.

Les Lonigan as Steve Bashekis - Flaherty; Bette David as Betty - Short; Dicky Dee - Levy; The Professor - Levy; daughter - Martin

The Completely Mental Misadventures of Ed Grimley

Ed lives with his goldfish Moby and rat Sheldon. His obsession with Pat Sajak and the triangle continues. New twists include an infatuation with his attractive neighbor Miss Malone (who lives with her young brother Wendell), and dealing with his cranky landlord and wife, Leo and Deirdre Freebus. Every episode also features the Amazing Gustav Brothers, Roger and Emil, who explain some scientific principle in their segment, and Ed's favorite TV show, 'Count Floyd's Scary Stories,' hosted by the real live Count Floyd. Episodes:

1. Tall, Dark and Hansom
2. Ed's Debut
3. E.G. Go Home
4. Ed's in Hot Water
5. Crate Expectations
6. Grimley, P.F.C.
7. Moby is Lost
8. Good Neighbor Ed
9. Driver Ed
10. Blowin' In The Wind
11. Eyewitness Ed
12. Eddy, We Hardly Know Ye
13. The Irving Who Came To Dinner

Ed Grimley - Short; Count Floyd - Flaherty; Miss Malone - O'Hara; Leo Freebus - Jonathan Winters; Deirdre Freebus - Martin; Roger Gustav - Jonathan Winters; Emil Gustav - Short; Sheldon the Rat - Frank Welker; Wendell - Danny Cooksey; Irving Cohen - Short; miscellaneous characters - Short, Flaherty, Martin, O'Hara, Winters; guest voices - Levy, Christopher Guest

Ed also guested on Sesame Street and Muppets Tonight.